The Tax Payers Are Paying For... Boob Jobs?

Oh my god, ok.
This is maybe the best story ever, especially since I just went through paying my taxes and all that and it turns out waitressing makes your taxes suck ass.
But I like to know my tax dollars are at work.
I try to use this excuse when I speed.
"No, officer, you don't understand. I saw you. But I also pay your salary. I was just making sure you were paying attention, so it's not going to waste. So I'll just go now."
Not as effective as you might think.
Unless you thought it would never work, in which case you're right. 
Anyhow, no more ranting about speeding tickets, on to the main event.

SOME GIRL IN BRITAIN GOT TAXPAYERS TO PAY FOR HER BOOB JOB.

Josie Cunningham is a 22 year old telemarketer who has two kids, and wants to be a model.
Recently, she got two steps closer to her goal.
And by two steps, I mean two breast implants.
See what I did there?
No?
Whatever.

Picture from gawker.com

Anyhow, basically, she convinced her physician that her flat, 32A breats, were causing her emotional distress. That's her above with her new 36DD assets.

"I just got emotional when I was explaining to my GP that I felt I couldn't live a full life the way I was and he agreed to refer me for implant surgery. I could never go on holiday as I lived in terror of ever being seen in a bikini and could never set foot outside without a padded bra. The doctors said they'd never seen anything like it and believed me when I burst into tears and told them it was ruining my life." 

Apparently Cunningham was the first patient that had ever been seen with zero percent breast tissue. 
I have no idea how that happens.

"He said he'd have to give me 36DD implants costing £4,795 [$7260] just to achieve the appearance of a 36C - because there was literally nothing there in the first place."

Also, that makes no sense. If there's nothing there, why would the size be different once they were in?

Before and after (Picture from gawker.com)

Her plan on how to give back to the taxpayers who funded her augmentation? Leave her two sons, five and two years old, at home and take the London clubs by storm.

"I've even started to collect Louis Vuitton handbags and have ordered a chihuahua puppy. The sky's the limit now I've got my new boobs."
 .
Sooooo... Let me clarify.
You can't afford a boob job. But you can collect Louis Vuitton handbags, which are like, thousands of dollars ( I KNOW, BECAUSE I LOOKED) and a chihuahua puppy? Which, if you're buying Louis Vuitton, my guess is you're gonna get that purebred shit, which can be like a $1,000 easily (Looked that up too), not including food and the little Louis Vuitton poop bags.
Yes.
Logic.
Good.

Matthew Sinclair, Chief Executive of the TaxPayers' Alliance has said, "The NHS is there for people with serious medical needs, not as a means of helping wannabes who fancy a career in modelling. NHS bosses must not allow the system to be manipulated by people wanting cosmetic surgery merely to enhance their career prospects."

You can watch a video of her talking about all this here.

Haha, so awesome.
I think I'd almost rather have my tax dollars pay for boob jobs.
Except I kind of don't like them.
I wonder if Obama-care covers this kind of thing.

(oYo)
Booblogger

Bras Make Your Boobs Sag

Today, French scientists announced that women who wear bras actually have saggier breasts than women who don't.

These are apparently the results of a fifteen year study done by Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, from the University of Besancon who says “Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra”. 

Picture from suicidegirls.com

NO.

NO NO NO.

Shut your big fat negative (french) wordsy mouth. (No offense France. Also, Archer reference.)

Because that means that my whole life has been a lie, and it's too late.

Professor Rouillon has spent 15 years measuring the changes in the orientation of the breasts of 130 women with a slide rule and caliper at the University Hospital in Besancon. 

A 28 year old participant named Capucine hasn't worn a bra for two years and says:“There are multiple benefits: I breathe more easily, I carry myself better, and I have less back pain.”

I...

I have no words.

My whole life, my passion is...

A LIE.

I need some time to think this over.

(oYo)

Booblogger

That Natural, Nipply Look

You know what's cool?
Nipples.
Lots of things have them. Men, women, baby bottles, lots of animals. They're handy little buggers attached to your body.
But most of us aren't like, "hey, check out my super cool nips. Sometimes when it's cold, I use them to slice through cheese. It's a cool party trick."
But for those of you who are into that sort of thing, maybe I can interest you in the "Nipple Bra".
That's right.
A bra with nipples on it.

Picture from Poorlydressed.failblog.org

Cause yours just aren't good enough.
Now, when I buy bras, I tend to lean towards the kind that conceal all that mumbo jumbo, but if you want that perky, nipply look, here's a good alternative.
Which is hopefully just missing decimal points in the price, because no fake nipples should cost that much.

Mine were free.

(OYO)
Booblogger.