Bras Make Your Boobs Sag

Today, French scientists announced that women who wear bras actually have saggier breasts than women who don't.

These are apparently the results of a fifteen year study done by Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, from the University of Besancon who says “Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra”. 

Picture from suicidegirls.com

NO.

NO NO NO.

Shut your big fat negative (french) wordsy mouth. (No offense France. Also, Archer reference.)

Because that means that my whole life has been a lie, and it's too late.

Professor Rouillon has spent 15 years measuring the changes in the orientation of the breasts of 130 women with a slide rule and caliper at the University Hospital in Besancon. 

A 28 year old participant named Capucine hasn't worn a bra for two years and says:“There are multiple benefits: I breathe more easily, I carry myself better, and I have less back pain.”

I...

I have no words.

My whole life, my passion is...

A LIE.

I need some time to think this over.

(oYo)

Booblogger

Creams to Make Your Boobs Bigger, Do They Work?

I don't know if you guys have heard of this, but on the market there are some creams that claim they can cause your bust to grow.

I'm super skeptical, because there's very few things that can actually make your boobs grow, and I doubt creams are really the best option.

Anyways, a study conducted by the boob job experts at Cosmetic Surgery Guru was.... inconclusive.

WHAT NO WAY

Duh, weirdos.

Anyways, the expensive cream basically just smelled nice and made the participants boobs really soft, which is nice, but didn't noticeably increase bust size.

The second one also smelled nice, but apparently did cause some change.

Mostly just local swelling though, which I think is negligible. It's called period swelling ladies, it happens.

Anyways, creams?

No thank you, I don't need my boobs any bigger. However if you are looking to increase your cup size, I would personally recommend the slap technique. Or if you don't want to get slapped by an old Asian disco lady, just let someone grope you. If you stimulate the nerves often enough, they will swell, and maybe even grow a little bit.

So hats off to all the ladies letting random people grope them.

If you can't find anyone, feel free to give me a call. ;D

(oYo)

Booblogger

Forgive Me Father

For I have sinned.

I became a certified bra fitter in August of last year.
I became an expert shortly after, because I happen to be really awesome at boob related things.
And I made myself this promise, as a professional, and expert, a connoisseur of breasts and bras, if you may:
I will never again buy a bra that does not fit simply because I like it.

We've all done it. Sometimes people call it motivational shopping, you buy a size smaller because you're going to lose weight, it'll fit eventually.
And sometimes it does! But generally? For your Ordinary Olivia? That's not the case.
It just sits in your closet, looking pretty, and untouched.

The day I became certified I went through my closet and put all those bras that didn't fit in a box, and gave them to my family, or friends, or yard sale boxes.

But last week I found myself, sitting in my room, packing for my San Diego trip and I realized:
I had bought not one, but two bras that didn't fit.
Two.
One was technically a bra style swim suit top, but that doesn't make me feel any better.

I have fallen prey to my old ways!
Alas, I am a fallen woman.

Any tips on how to avoid the pull of such items? The cute, the beautiful, but ill fitting?
May the bra Gods smite me where I stand.

(OYO)
Booblogger

Push Up Bras, The Greatest Lie Ever Told By Your Average Woman

Recently, Victoria's Secret and many other bra makers have started making something even more extreme then a push up bra, to replace tissues and socks and silicone inserts.
Traditionally, a push up bra adds a cup size, making you seem bigger, but these new bras can add two, or even three, cup sizes.
My real question is, why?
Just.... why?
Isn't the point of showing off your boobs (edit: occasionally) to get someone in bed? And isn't part of getting someone in bed through that process... getting nekkid?
And letting them see your real boobs? Which will have magically shrunk?
The only good thing I can see in these new push up bras are you can literally let someone punch you in the boob, and you will be totally fine. Also, you could just run into an attacker, breasts first, and knock them out. One time at work, I dropped one on my head, and it gave me a headache.
Maybe it's just because I have large breasts, but I can't see why we would need to mislead perfectly nice strangers into thinking we have bigger boobs then we do. You can trick someone with one cup, but two or three?
Come on.
HAVE BOOBS.
YOUR BOOBS.
NOT BOOBS WITH FABRIC AND JUNK.

(Edit, due to below comment. This post is due to my frustration with women who purchase these kinds of bras for the wrong reasons. Women who choose to wear these bras to ensnare men, and then express confusion with the mans reaction and confusion, with me while they purchase more of these kinds of bras, make me feel rather frustrated. The boobs you have are wonderful, and I just wish everyone could see that. Thank you, anon, I forgot to make that clear to my readers. =) )

(OYO)
Booblogger rant over.