Band vs. Cup, Are Your Boobs Big?

I get a lot of people that ask me if they have large breasts.
And it's a question that is actually kind of difficult to answer at this point in my life.
Especially after seeing the huge 164XXX breasts of Chelsea Charms, everyone looks, well, smaller.
But I've always kind of gone by what I call my chart of averages.
Now, the chart of averages is just what I use as a reference to let a girl know, speaking by logic, if she is average size in the bust.

And as you can see, the chart only goes from an A to a D, and a 32 to a 38.
That's because these are the most common sizes, and if you're any other kind of band, it's all kind of nonsense at that point.
So if you're a 32 D, you're large for your band size.
This is important to remember, because band size makes a difference.
Because if a 32 D is next to a 34D, the 34D will look larger.
I'll explain why this is the way it is in a later post.

But another important thing to remember is body shape is really important here too.
You may have a pear shape, which will cause your bust too appear smaller, or you may be hourglass, causing it to look larger.

So it's all pretty objective, but thsi is just a way to get a quick idea on your size, and where you fall.

(OYO)
Booblogger

The Wine Rack, It Holds More Then Alcohol

You know those people who like to run on the mountains?
With the backpacks with tubes so they can drink from their water while they run, cause they're hardcore?
Well now they have one specifically for women. It's a sports bra that you can literally fill with alcohol.
Up to 25 ounces of alcohol.
Plus, it makes your boobs look bigger.
This magical product is called, if you will, "The Wine Rack".
BEST. PRODUCT. NAME. EVER. (Also, best product ever.)
And if you go to the bars, trying to seduce a man, you just pump your bra full of his favorite beverage, and let him drink from your bounty, so that he will become so intoxicated that he won't notice that your breasts are slowly deflating...
Plus, you can bring alcohol into all those places you aren't supposed to, like bars, church, your nephews birthday party...
This may be one of the best things I've ever seen in my whole life.
Thank you baby Jesus for inspiring someone to come up with this fabulous product, which I will soon purchase, and then go drunken running with.
Watch out y'all, now I really might knock someone out with my breasts, and that someone may be me, because I will be intoxicated.
Or you, because you will be in my way.


(OYO)
Booblogger

Boob Coolers, Freezer Packs For Your Boobs

You have really dry nipples.
I'm not discriminating, I'm just letting you know. Nipples are a very dry part of the body.
And when you're nursing, that tends to get even worse.
Apparently they can get so dry that they start to crack.
Eww....
Also, crackly nipples sounds like a tea time cookie.
Nipple crispies?
I'm gonna put a copyright on that.

But Sherri Frushon has come up with "Boob Coolers", which are basically mini freezer packs that you pop right on into your nursing bra to help give your little nursing nippies some relief.
They're even advertised as reusable, "You can reuse your Boob Coolers after nursing is completed. Use for kids lunches, keeps sipper cup cold, toss into picnic basket, etc."
Your kids will really appreciate that. I love when my mother alternates her nipple cooling pads with my lunch box cooler.
They are eco friendly though, and made with "Couture mommy fabrics", whatever that means.

(OYO)
Booblogger

Boob Mousepad, The Perfect Wrist Support

After the post about the usb boob warmers, I had to post about another computer related boob accessory.

Picture from geekologie.com

These are magical mouspads, with the best kind of wrist supporters. That's right, large, fake, anime breasts.
Why is that Japan is so good at coming up with these crazy awesome things?
They're an island of wonderful people.
I hope these are a required part of your office supplies there.
SO. AWESOME.

(OYO)
Booblogger.

Keep Your Boobs Warm With Your Computer!

Ever been sitting at your desk with your computer, trying to type and keep your precious boobs warm?
Can't say it's ever been a problem for me, I can type with one hand, and keep myself warm with the other, but for the real busy ladies out there, I have a solution for your cold boobies.

Picture from www.japanator.com

These lovely "Bust Beauty Pad" warming pads run about 20 bucks a piece, and they plug right on in with a usb cord into your computer. In seconds, you can start warming your lovely ladies while still typing with both hands.

Handy. (GET IT?)

If you're interested in buying yourself a set, and can read Japanese, click the link above buy yourself some nice warming pads.

(OYO)

Booblogger

Push Up Bras, The Greatest Lie Ever Told By Your Average Woman

Recently, Victoria's Secret and many other bra makers have started making something even more extreme then a push up bra, to replace tissues and socks and silicone inserts.
Traditionally, a push up bra adds a cup size, making you seem bigger, but these new bras can add two, or even three, cup sizes.
My real question is, why?
Just.... why?
Isn't the point of showing off your boobs (edit: occasionally) to get someone in bed? And isn't part of getting someone in bed through that process... getting nekkid?
And letting them see your real boobs? Which will have magically shrunk?
The only good thing I can see in these new push up bras are you can literally let someone punch you in the boob, and you will be totally fine. Also, you could just run into an attacker, breasts first, and knock them out. One time at work, I dropped one on my head, and it gave me a headache.
Maybe it's just because I have large breasts, but I can't see why we would need to mislead perfectly nice strangers into thinking we have bigger boobs then we do. You can trick someone with one cup, but two or three?
Come on.
HAVE BOOBS.
YOUR BOOBS.
NOT BOOBS WITH FABRIC AND JUNK.

(Edit, due to below comment. This post is due to my frustration with women who purchase these kinds of bras for the wrong reasons. Women who choose to wear these bras to ensnare men, and then express confusion with the mans reaction and confusion, with me while they purchase more of these kinds of bras, make me feel rather frustrated. The boobs you have are wonderful, and I just wish everyone could see that. Thank you, anon, I forgot to make that clear to my readers. =) )

(OYO)
Booblogger rant over.

Bacon Friday, A Father's Day Bacon Basket

Just in time for Father's Day!
Baconfreak.com, which is one of my new favorite places ever, has a basket designed to give your favorite father figure a delicious bacon-y gift basket.

Picture from Baconfreak.com

This delicious basket features:
1 bag of  French Market coffee
2 pounds of "Big Daddy Bacon"
1 pound of Rocco's Private Reserve Cajun Sausage
1 Pound of Boss Hogs Center Sliced Ham
Boss Hog Bacon Pancake Mix
Uncle Sam's Chocolate Chip Pancake Mix
Uncle Sam's Blueberry Syrup
1 bottle of bacon seasoning

Uhm, I think I need to go become a father so someone can get this for me.
Hello future children, please give me this now!

Also, my dad thinks my bacon obsession is weird, so when I get this for him, and he doesn't want it, I guess I'll just have to take it for myself....

(OYO)
Booblogger