Bras Make Your Boobs Sag

Today, French scientists announced that women who wear bras actually have saggier breasts than women who don't.

These are apparently the results of a fifteen year study done by Professor Jean-Denis Rouillon, from the University of Besancon who says “Medically, physiologically, anatomically – breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra”. 

Picture from suicidegirls.com

NO.

NO NO NO.

Shut your big fat negative (french) wordsy mouth. (No offense France. Also, Archer reference.)

Because that means that my whole life has been a lie, and it's too late.

Professor Rouillon has spent 15 years measuring the changes in the orientation of the breasts of 130 women with a slide rule and caliper at the University Hospital in Besancon. 

A 28 year old participant named Capucine hasn't worn a bra for two years and says:“There are multiple benefits: I breathe more easily, I carry myself better, and I have less back pain.”

I...

I have no words.

My whole life, my passion is...

A LIE.

I need some time to think this over.

(oYo)

Booblogger

The Factors Of The Perfect Breasts

Patrick Mallucci is a plastic surgeon, who has spent three months analyzing breasts to try and discover the key features that make them "perfect". (I want his job. Right now.)

From his three month study, he discover four key features:

"First, the part of the boob lying below the nipple was ten per cent fuller than that above it.

Next, the nipples themselves were angled upwards at 20 degrees.

 

Finally the skin sloped flatly or inward above the nipple, and curved outwards below it." 

^That bit? Copied and pasted. I think the last one is supposed to be two features in one line, but I can't be sure.

"The nipple meridian — a horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple — lay at a point such that the proportion of the breast above it was 45 per cent and below 55 per cent. The more breasts deviate from these measures the less attractive they are regardless of size." 

Well, that seems a little shallow, sir.

His finding have been published in the International Journal of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgery, and I wonder if it's the same journal that published the story about the guy who broke his finger unhooking a bra. Well, trying to anyways.

I don't know if there's any formula for perfect breasts, and I have to say, I can't read that doctory mumbo jumbo up there, but I'm pretty sure they don't fit those requirements.

And I think they're perfect anyways!

Is there a formula for "perfect" breasts? Thoughts?

If you want to look at one of the girls with perfect breasts, click here. They have a copyright on the photo, and that shit is legal.

(oYo)

Booblogger