Tomorrow is Easter!

So last year I made a post about Easter boobs.

Now, as some of you may know, that post got my AdSense account shut down due to nudity, which is super dumb in my opinion.

So my one request from all of you for Easter is click on that link and make me feel better about not removing that post, and for posting it in the first place.

But, happy Resurrection of Jesus for all you religious folks.

And happy weird holiday about a bunny that lays eggs for the rest of you!

(oYo)

Booblogger.

I'm Sorry, Your Nickname is Hilarious

So I like to do research on boobs every once in a while, but I really only find interesting things by really digging around.

And today while searching through a mass of very classily named adult sites, I found out that there's been two sports players with the apparently well known nickname of "Boob".

Boob Darling: "Bernard "Boob" Darling (born November 18, 1903) was an American football player. He played his entire five year career with the Green Bay Packers and was inducted into the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame in 1970."

Boob Fowler: "Joseph Chester "Boob" Fowler (November 11, 1900 – October 8, 1988) was a Major League Baseball shortstop. He played for the Cincinnati Reds (1923–1925) and Boston Red Sox (1926)."

Now I'm not super big into sports, but I know what locker room talk is like, and I bet that's a joke that never got old.

"Hey guys, I was in the shower and I saw Boob."

"No way, there's a dame in there?"

"Naw, just Boob Darling."

Now I'm just imagining guys in towels laughing really hard and slapping their knees.

Haha, those were the days.
I wonder how you get a nickname like that in sports.

Anyone know the back story?

(oYo)

Booblogger

The Delightful Sucker

I got to talk to one of my old teachers today, and he told me that he and his wife read my blog, and that reminded me that I should probably start writing it again, so here I am.

"Guess who's back, back again.

Shady's back."

No he's not, it's just me.

Anyways, I was on pictureisnotrelated.com, which I very much enjoy, and I ran across this gem.

Can you imagine someone using this in public?

"Oh, hello respectable looking man in a park, what have you got there? Oh, a nipple on top of a soda can, very classy. 

Children, get behind me."

I would run away from them.

There's probably some Freudian theory behind this product.

Because he liked his mom?

And she had boobs?

Get it?

Anyhow, I'll work on posting more!

(oYo)

Booblogger

Youtube Has a Manboob Controversy

Remember my post about the buy who murdered his neighbor over his manboobs?

Pretty crazy stuff.

Anyhow, Youtube employees are in the middle of an incredibly long debate, trying to figure out if manboobs (also known asgynecomastia) should be age restricted on Youtube. Apparently this is a pretty popular video category.

Picture from marvelousmanboobs.com. Yup, that's a real website.

Basically, they don't allow full nudity, but partial and non sexual nudity is allowed, and no one can quite seem to decide where the line falls for man boobs.

Victoria Grand, the Youtube director for global communications and policy has said that, "Literally, these are the things that we debate ferociously to the point that we don't sleep at night."

Seriously? You argue about manboobs until you can't sleep?

I can't sleep just thinking about them, let alone argue.

Apparently the videos of manboobs will have to be evaluated on a case by case basis, and I don't envy whoever has that job.

Bet they wished they worked at Disneyland instead.

You can read more about the debate by clicking here.

Opinions?

Should manboobs be restricted content?

(oYo)

Booblogger

The Factors Of The Perfect Breasts

Patrick Mallucci is a plastic surgeon, who has spent three months analyzing breasts to try and discover the key features that make them "perfect". (I want his job. Right now.)

From his three month study, he discover four key features:

"First, the part of the boob lying below the nipple was ten per cent fuller than that above it.

Next, the nipples themselves were angled upwards at 20 degrees.

 

Finally the skin sloped flatly or inward above the nipple, and curved outwards below it." 

^That bit? Copied and pasted. I think the last one is supposed to be two features in one line, but I can't be sure.

"The nipple meridian — a horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple — lay at a point such that the proportion of the breast above it was 45 per cent and below 55 per cent. The more breasts deviate from these measures the less attractive they are regardless of size." 

Well, that seems a little shallow, sir.

His finding have been published in the International Journal of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgery, and I wonder if it's the same journal that published the story about the guy who broke his finger unhooking a bra. Well, trying to anyways.

I don't know if there's any formula for perfect breasts, and I have to say, I can't read that doctory mumbo jumbo up there, but I'm pretty sure they don't fit those requirements.

And I think they're perfect anyways!

Is there a formula for "perfect" breasts? Thoughts?

If you want to look at one of the girls with perfect breasts, click here. They have a copyright on the photo, and that shit is legal.

(oYo)

Booblogger

Sharon Osbourne, She Had Leaking Implants.

Remember my post on how that girl in London got shot with a paintball, and her implant exploded?

Well, apparently something similar happened to Sharon Osbourne, but without the paintball.

Sharon reports that one morning she woke up and found one of her breasts to be different from the other.

After seeing a doctor, it was discovered that her implant had leaked. Some of the silicone from the implant had even gotten into her stomach wall, which, as you might guess, isn't super great health wise. 

Picture from celebritygoss.com.au

She has now had both implants removed, and says she is happy to be all natural again, and will apparently not miss the feeling of waterbeds floating on her chest.

Maybe she should have taken out some breast insurance to cover the costs.

As long as she's happy!

(oYo)

Booblogger

Bad News Bears

Picture from funnyjunk.com

 And no, not the movie about the kids who play baseball or whatever.

The bad news is...

I think my boobs are shrinking.

JUST A LITTLE, DON'T FLIP OUT.

I've recently lost a good bit of weight, almost 18 pounds, and my band size is just hovering above a 36.

Now, I used to measure, spot on, a 38 band, and a 43 bust.

For those of you who don't know math, that is a five inch difference, making me a DD.

Now I measure more of a 36 band, 41 1/2 bust.

Technically, that makes me a 36 DDD/36 G, meaning my cup technically went up, but the point is, my bust measurement has gone down.

Don't panic, I only have about 21 more pounds to go.

So hopefully we won't see to much more loss, but I have to say, I wouldn't mind being a 36 D.

That's like, the perfect size in my mind.

I'll keep you all updated!

(oYo)

Booblogger

Hey, Let Me Slap You In The Boobs, They'll Get Bigger

One of the only techniques I've really heard of for improving breast shape/size involves groping yourself to stimulate breast growth.

But beautician Khemmikka Na Songkhla in Bangkok has a different strategy.

She will, for a fee, slap you in the breasts, buttocks, or face, to tone your face and butt, and increase cup size. This is government approved, by the way.

Picture from funnyjunk.com

BUT!

She also says that she will refuse to help woman whose breasts are "too small to be enlarged".

If you click here, you can watch a video of the beautician in action, slapping a variety of Asian woman, sometimes in time to dance music.

Also, this is an "ancient art", but it hasn't been practiced much because "back then people didn't care about breast size." Fairly certain that is false.

Also, she is taking on students because she is currently the only one in the world with this knowledge, and she wants to pass this ancient art of slapping on to new generations, for a lot of money.

Picture frombangkokpost.com

But, I can tell you that I will slap you in the face/butt/breasts for much less then she will.

I haven't studied the ancient art of slapping for very long, but I have faith that I can catch on pretty fast.

Volunteers?

(oYo)

Booblogger

Dolly Parton, She Can Rap. About Boobs.

Remember my post about the child dressed as Dolly parton for Toddlers and Tiaras?

It sparked a little more research on the singer, and this what I found.

Dolly Parton recently rapped at one of her concerts.

About her breasts.

And Queen Latifah.

I have no words.

Seriously, none.

(oYo)

Booblogger

Kendra Wilkinson, She Would Eat Breast Milk Ice Cream

Picture zeusbox.com

Not gonna lie, I don't really know who Kendra Wilkinson is.

And all Google can tell me is she wants to bite Beyonce's butt, she apparently used to date Hugh Hefner, and she's drank her own breast milk before.

Wait, what?

Yes folks, you read that right. Apparently when she went to her first party after giving birth to her son, she started to leak. This is rather normal for women who have recently had babies, but what is not normal is breastfeeding yourself.

"My first party after giving birth to Hank, I went to Eve nightclub in Vegas and my boobs started leaking. I couldn't do anything so I breastfed myself. And it tasted sweet, too!"

Maybe she should visit London and get some lovely breast milk ice cream.

Picture from realbollywood.com

I just can't help but find it a little weird.

I guess she's already had it once before in her life anyways, right?

(oYo)

Booblogger

Dear Walgreens Lady, I Don't Want to See Your Boobs

You know how people who are doctors don't tell people that they're doctors, because of the fact that people then start showing them the gross weird scabby bits they have that need looking after?

Apparently, as a bra fit specialist, I get the same deal, but with breasts.

Sadly, this is not as exciting as one might imagine. 

Example:

I was at Walgreens a few days ago with a friend of mine before we went to dinner. While perusing the aisles, I found they sell the Ah bra. I have been debating getting one so I can stop making allegations about it and find out the truth, but I didn't feel like getting one then, and promptly started ranting about it instead.

And this lady just comes a wandering over after eyeballing me and listening to me rant about it, and starts talking.

Not to me mind you, but kind of to the bras.

"Oh, what's this? The Ah bra.... Ohhhhh.... Hmmmm." And she's looking at me out of the corner of her eye as she reaches for one, and it took all the self control I have not to slap it out of her hands and scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then shake some sense into her.

But, luckily I am a master of self control, and I very calmly stated my profession and my personal beliefs as to why such a product would be ultimately unhelpful.

And she starts just telling me about how she used to have these great breasts out to here and she lost weight and now, "they're like thin flabby pancakes of skin that just hang down" while kind of shaking them towards me.

Now look folks.

I am a bra fit specialist. I see boobs everyday, and I'm used to it.

But that's at work. We are in public, and I am in no way getting paid to look at your flabby pancake breasts.

Sorry, but that's just how it goes.

So please, try to refrain from filling my mind with terrifying mental images of pancake breasts and old ladies.

I'd really appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Booblogger

(oYo)

Meatpacking District to Get A Boob Job

A boob removal, to be exact.
Apparently in 2008, somebody decided they should put up giant stone boobs in a bunch of the plazas on Ninth Avenue.

Picture from nypost.com

I think this was a much better idea in their head, as the giant stone busts (HAHAHAHA) are apparently going to be removed soon, because people are tired of the boobs jokes.

Also, no offence, but those are not the more beautiful boobs I've ever seen made out of stone.

""They’re the breasts. They just sit out there and do nothing," said Matt DeMatt, owner of the Gaslight Lounge on Ninth Avenue, of the round mounds capped by nippled-shaped white cones."

Matt DeMatt, I have two things to say to you.

1. What do you think boobs normally do?
2. Your name is pretty weird. Just saying.

Thoughts on boobs as public art projects/barricades of plazas?
I can't say I'm exactly for it. I would have just stationed topless ladies where the giant stone boobs are instead. But that's just me.

(oYo)
Booblogger

Om Nom Nom, Breast Milk Ice Cream

Ok, so I usually have posts about weird breast related things from Asian countries, occasionally from Germany.
But today I have one from London.

Breast milk ice cream.
A restaurant in London's Covent Garden is serving breast milk ice cream, made with pure breast milk, and is called Baby GaGa.
Seriously.

Here's a picture of woman supplying the restaurant with breast milk, London mother Victoria Hiley:


Picture from dailymail.co.uk

 Now here's a  shot of her with the ice cream:

Picture from metro.co.uk

Apparently, she milks on site, and the milk is then pasteurized, churned with vanilla pods and lemon zest.
I do have to approve of her approach to the situation, as she is quoted as saying, "What's the harm in using my assets for a bit of extra cash?"
If you want to read more about it, click here.

You have to admire her innovation.
Thoughts?

(OYO)
Booblogger

Words For Boobs

This is a super charming video, giving you some pretty creative words for your boobs, in case you find a situation where "breasts" just doesn't quite do the job.

"Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD's
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs

Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs

Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins

Those are 99 words for boobs"

 

Would anyone ever use these in real applications?

I mean, what?

 

(OYO)

Booblogger out.