Sunday, August 28, 2011

It's My Birthday!

Hey, guess what? It's my birthday.

Just saying.
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So, as a present to myself, I may not post for a couple days. And if I do, they'll be about whatever I want.
Suck it.

Just kidding, I love all of you.

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Now, I'm going to find someone to put on a frosting lingerie set, and party hardy.

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Have an awesome day!


Friday, August 26, 2011

The Best Part of Waking Up, Coffee and a Striptease?

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Some would say yes, undercover police officers say no.

Java Juggs is a little coffee hut in South Everett, Washington.
And if you're a paying customer, you may get a little more then coffee added to your morning routine. Because this little coffee stand also has a stripper pole inside it.

Police have been keeping an eye on the stand for a while because of customers complaining that the baristas were exposing themselves to them.
And during an undercover investigation, they found the allegations to be entirely true. One officer was asked if he was "a naughty boy" and when he said yes, he was told to wait in his car on the other side, and in a few minutes, was treated to a strip tease, accompanied by music.


Now look, I have no problem with strippers, or stripper poles, or the what have you.
For goodness sake, there's a stripper pole in my apartment right now.
But ladies, try to at least keep it under wraps! Know your clientele!

Anyhow, the shop has been closed down, and the owner has been arrested for prostitution, and permitting prostitution, and six of her baristas have charges for lewd behavior.

Click here to read the article and watch the two totally worthwhile videos.
That certainly woke me up!


Thursday, August 25, 2011

Blitz Sports Bra and Grill


Specific threat, no?

Anyways, this is a real place in Texas, and the owners one hundred percent meant to spell it that way.
"We called it 'Sports Bra' on purpose," says Frank Negron, co-owner. "It is a breastaurant, if you want, like Hooters or Twin Peaks, but that's as far as it goes. The girls are dressed like little referees. But 'Blitz' doesn't have any connotation, and we didn't want parents coming in and saying, 'You should have told us' -- so we called it the Sports Bra & Grill."

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Well, parents really can't argue with that, they literally spelled it out for you! Also, who takes their kid to a bar, or bra in this case, and grill, and doesn't expect to see skimpily dressed ladies? It's a learning experience.
"See son, those are called boobs."
Parenting win.

Anyhow, when the two partners went to get the permits for the place in Dallas County, everyone tried to inform them that they didn't know how to spell bar properly. And then, the two, being former cops, told them to shove it.

Not really, but that would have been awesome.

Negron is quoted as saying, "All the names are based on sporting events, like the choke chicken salad and Olympic onion rings, and the Madison Square Garden salad -- anything to make you remember the place."
In case the hot referee girls weren't enough to stick in your head.

I need to go here.
Who's taking me to Garland, Texas?


The Ultimo Side Cleavage Bra

So who remembers the super awesome frontless bra?
And the girls on the rollercoaster?

Well, Ultimo, the wonderful company who brought us both those things, has brought us the ultimate (HAHAHA) solution for perfect side boob, with support.
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Ta-da! Presenting the side cleavage bra! Probably one of the skimpiest, most supportive bras on the planet, it boasts a cup that is about 40% smaller then other bras, convertible straps, narrow cups, and a floating underwire.

Meaning, perfect side cleavage, and great support.
Which is great, if you love showing some side boob.

The sizes are currently pretty limited, with a 32-36 A-D size range, but maybe they'll branch out.

Off to go scour the internet for more wonderful bra inventions!


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

London Woman Gets Shot With Paintball, Implant Explodes

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But apparently, not for girls with implants!

Apparently some 26 year old girl was playing paintball and got hit in the chest at about 190 mph with a paintball pellet, and felt more pain then usual.

Originally, she thought it had just bruised her really badly, but when she got around to seeing a doctor a few days later, he let her know that the impact had actually torn her soft gel implant.
My question is, wouldn't the gel like, leak? And wouldn't you notice that?

"Oh, my boob is oddly shaped, and kind of feels like a weird bag of runny jello."

Anyways, enough on that. Apparently the Paintzone Paintball Park, where this young lady was shot, will be offering extra chest padding in the future. All you have to do is call ahead of time, be like, "I have fake boobs that I don't want exploding", give them your bra size and they'll have something all ready for you when you come in.

How nice of them.

The estimated cost of damage for the exploded implant was quoted at around £3,000, which is just under $5,000 dollars.

Douglas McGeorge, the former president of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons said: "This is very, very unusual and this woman was very unlucky. I imagine she was quite slim because the paintball would have had to pierce the skin to rupture the implant. I have heard some odd stories over the years but this is one of the strangest."
Strange indeed Douglas McGeorge, strange indeed.

Also, probably incredibly painful.


Also, I wonder if maybe she'd had one of those crazy German bullet proof bras, maybe she would have been fine?


Put on Your Pink Bra Campaign

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You might be asking, is this chick part of the campaign?
The answer, no.
But, I am well aware that sex sells, so she's gonna do me the favor of being eye candy for this post.

Anyhow, on to the news. This Thursday, at 6 pm in Florida, people will gather for the "Making Strides" noncompetitive 5K which will raise funds and awareness for breast cancer.

The "Put on Your Pink Bra" is more specific to the fashion show that will also happen at the event, with survivors and supporters wearing pink bras, decorated for the event.

I'm hoping for pictures, and at least a few models who look like our lovely lady up top.

Off to go try and find a pink bra, because I actually don't think I own one.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

London Man Breaks Finger Trying To Remove Bra

Let's just face it. Most guys suck absolute face at removing bras competently.
Mostly because they get caught up in the moment and just start twisting the absolute junk out of the clasp in the hopes that it will either break, or the girl will get frustrated and take care of it herself.


But apparently a London man took this failure to whole new level, and was actually admitted to a hospital after breaking his finger trying to remove his lady friends bra.

'"He caught his left middle finger between the double straps that extended inferiorly from the acromion to the left breast, and in so doing, sustained a force ulnar abduction rotatory injury of the proximal interphalangeal joint." A reconstructive surgeon told the UK Daily Mail this is the type of injury "more commonly associated with sport, particularly rock climbing."'

Rock climbing? Sports? Wow. You sir, absolutely fail.

The Journal said surveys show that 40% of men aged 30-40 have similar trouble removing bras, and could likely end up in the same situation.

The average amount of time it takes for a man to remove a bra using both hands is about 27 seconds. Men who are right handed removing a bra with their left hand average 58. But the guy with high score? 20 minutes.


I just... I don't even.
Please men, for your own sake, find an open minded lady and let her teach you how to take a bra off. Every woman you meet in the future romantically, or in a way that you need to remove her bra for, will thank you.

Off to go teach some college kids how it's done!

Barbells For Boobs, Crossfit Fights Cancer

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So who of my lovely readers has heard of Crossfit?

For those of you who haven't, you can easily define it as a super intensive, mildly insane workout.

Anyways, a Tuscon gym hosted the Barbells for boobs fundraiser, to raise money for women in southern Arizona who can't afford to get a mammogram.

""There's a lot of women out there who can't afford a mammogram; maybe their doctor is saying you don't need to get one. It's every woman's choice. Nobody should have to live with the anxiety of 'oh gosh is that something'," breast cancer survivor Molly Davis said."

"Around 100 people will be doing what's called a "Helen Meets Grace" workout.  That's a 400-yard run around the gym, dozens of kettle bell swings, pull ups, and as many clean an jerks as they can manage."

Uhm, no thank you, I will just give you some money instead. Also, what is a clean an jerk? Shouldn't it be a jerk an clean? (HAHAHA, I crack myself up.)

Last year, in crossfit gyms across the country, they raised over $300,000 during the Barbells for Boobs fundraiser. If they used the girl up top as a spokesperson, I bet they would make a lot more. Just saying.

Off to go hit the weights!

Monday, August 22, 2011

National Go Topless Day 2011

Dear God, I love that this is a thing.
I would have been participating, but I had to work. And I have to say, the aren't super approving of toplessness there.

Early yesterday, hordes of people gathered on Venice Beach, and all over the nation, to protest the fact that woman are still not legally allowed to walk around topless. Which by the way, sucks face. Because bikini top tan lines suck ultimate ass.

Apparently, they're going to march topless in front of the White House on the 26th of this month, 2 days before my birthday, and I can't think of a better way to celebrate.

You can read more about the protest on

Also, here's a bunch of videos of the topless protesters, some with pasties on, some dudes in bikini tops, and some words that are not good for virgin ears.

Enjoy the gratuitous breasts!


Record Of Most People Showering Together Broken

The record breaking number?
152, with 150 of the record breakers being incredibly hot girls in bikinis.

This whole thing was arranged as an incredibly effective marketing ploy by Lynx fragrance and body wash brand, similar to Axe.

The marketing ploy was similar to the one used by Ultimo, with the girls on the rollercoaster. Remember them? Yeah, marketing is awesome.

For any of you who creepily watched clips of Pamela Anderson running on the beach, you've hit the jackpot here. And let me say, it is inspirational.

Also, super fun to watch. It's kind of like the video of the girls trying to crush cans with their boobs, mostly because of the shifting flesh.

Off to run on the beach in a bikini, and try not to knock myself out.


Kirsten Dunst, "My Boobs Are Too Big For This Video Game!"

So, funny thing. I was looking a little more into Kirsten Dunst's boobs, and found that in 2004 she requested that her animated breasts be reduced in the Spiderman 2 game.

“I got to approve the video game, the way she looks," Dunst said. "They made her boobs gigantic. I was like, 'Tone down the boobs, please!' It was a little ridiculous.”

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Which is funny, because now she is apparently super ok with her breasts. Which is good, because everyone should be ok with their breasts.
Video games are notorious for having exaggerated frontal assets though, so if she was surprised, I would laugh.

Which by the way, I have a few posts that will be showing up on that subject later.

Booblogger out to play Spiderman 2.

Kirsten Dunst Wants You to Know Her Boobs Are Big

I've had a lot of celebrity posts lately, what with Lady GaGa and Olivia Wilde and Britney Spears.  

And now we're just gonna add Kirsten Dunst to the list. Apparently when she was in an interview with Elle magazine, she decided it was necessary that everyone be reminded that she has large boobs, and absolutely no body image problems.

In her recent movie Melancholia, she apparently does a few nude scenes, and she has no problem with it.

“I didn’t work out beforehand, it was all very natural. I don’t have any real body issues. I never really overeat, I shed weight in the summer, put it on in the winter. I love my snaggle fangs, they give me character and character is sexy.”

Picture from, and is no longer a picture of Avril Lavigne.

I never really thought she had snaggle fangs, and then I googled it. And she kind of does sometimes.
She's attractive though.

And she does have a pretty nice rack.

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“Yes, I do have big boobs. People don’t realize because I cover up a lot, but they are there. Big boobs.”

I think I need to go watch Spiderman again.
Booblogger out.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Meatpacking District to Get A Boob Job

A boob removal, to be exact.
Apparently in 2008, somebody decided they should put up giant stone boobs in a bunch of the plazas on Ninth Avenue.
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I think this was a much better idea in their head, as the giant stone busts (HAHAHAHA) are apparently going to be removed soon, because people are tired of the boobs jokes.

Also, no offence, but those are not the more beautiful boobs I've ever seen made out of stone.

""They’re the breasts. They just sit out there and do nothing," said Matt DeMatt, owner of the Gaslight Lounge on Ninth Avenue, of the round mounds capped by nippled-shaped white cones."

Matt DeMatt, I have two things to say to you.

1. What do you think boobs normally do?
2. Your name is pretty weird. Just saying.

Thoughts on boobs as public art projects/barricades of plazas?
I can't say I'm exactly for it. I would have just stationed topless ladies where the giant stone boobs are instead. But that's just me.


Lady GaGa Takes It Off to Promote MTV VMA's 2011

I am in general a fan of Lady GaGa. If I have to hear Judas one more time, I may strangle a helpless DJ with his own headphone cords, but that's not the point.

And she is apparently a fan of taking off her bra while playing piano. You have to give her props for multitasking.

In a video promotion of MTV's 2011 VMA's, Lady GaGa performs a jazzy, burlesque version of You & I, and in the middle of it, takes off her bra.

And if there are three things I can be a fan of in this situtation, it's Lady GaGa, pianos, and being topless.
Also, fourth, multitasking.

Is there anything she can't do if a piano is involved? I've watched her play a piano with her shoes.

I've also watched her fall off the bench while playing the piano with her shoes, and keep singing.
The woman is a rockstar.

Thoughts on getting naked for music?

Off to go learn how to play piano with my boobs.
Booblogger out!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hitler, Now With More Breast Tissue

Here's what it would have looked like:
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Just kidding, that's messed up. 

So, I like to use the internet to try and find you, my lovely readers, fancy new stories.
And today, I found a real knock out one.
Apparently, one strategy found among the many created by the Brits to bring Hitler down was to lace his food with, not poison, but estrogen.

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The plan was to “make him less aggressive and more like his docile younger sister Paula, who worked as a secretary.”

Apparently estrogen was an easy choice because it was tasteless, and relatively slow with bringing forth results, so it wouldn't be detected by the leader or his food testers.

I mean, this is a pretty inspired plan. I want to know what military member presented this as a plan. And, I want to know why it was never used.

If they had used the estrogen used in sex-reassignment therapy, " Hitler may have eventually noticed that he was growing breasts, that his nipples and areolae were enlarging, and his body-fat redistributing to be more feminine. In addition, his singular testicle would have likely started to shrivel (he only had one—look it up) and much of his body hair would have fallen out."

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Which would have been pretty interesting, considering Hitler didn't exactly love homosexuals, or the transgendered.

Someone build me a time machine. It's time to change history (And Hitler!)

Booblogger out.

The Change Up, Featuring CGI Boobs

So who's seen The Change Up? I haven't had a chance to see it yet, but you can bet your pants loving ass I will go see it, because hello. Olivia Wilde and Ryan Reynolds?
Uhm, yes. I will watch them get busy on the big screen.

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 But, it should be noted that if you go see the movie, watch for Olivia Wilde's CGI nipples.
Yup. You read that right. Apparently while they were filming the scenes, she wore pasties, which is totally normal. But they ended up showing up in a lot of the shots, and instead of reshooting, they just decided to digitally overwrote them with CGI versions.

The best part?

She got to choose which version of the nipple they put onscreen.

Apparently producers sent her email with seven different versions of the nipple attached, and asked her to choose which ones she'd prefer to have featured onscreen.

Quote, "Please review nipple cover shot one through seven and decide which one is most like the original."

Haha, can you just imagine? Trying to sift through a bunch of fake, computer created nipples, and trying to figure out which one looks most like yours?

 Also, someone had to create them.
I just have this mental image of some computer nerd, squinting at a bunch of nipple pictures, trying to replicate ones that he imagines are like her nipples.
God, I want his job.

Booblogger out.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Britney Spears, I Want Even Breasts!

It's fairly normal to have some changes in breast size, shape, and etc. after having a baby.
And apparently, stars like Britney Spears aren't immune to such natural changes, but they do have the money to take care of it with fancy surgeries.
Britney Spears father, who is now in charge of her finances, will apparently give her the over $16,000 for the surgery provided she meets with a psychologist to ensure that she is in the right state of mind.

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My boobs look like what?

Apparently since the birth of her two children, Britney has noticed that her left boob hangs lower then her right.
A source close to Britney is quoted to have said, "It's been bothering her for a while, especially since she saw pictures of herself with no bra and felt it was fairly noticeable. She said she doesn't care what other people think so much but it's something she'd like to change. She said if she looks better on the outside then she feels better inside."

No word on when the surgery is planned to occur, or if Britney has passed the psychologists examination, but she's on the road towards the quest of perfectly even breasts.

Good luck Britney!

And leave Britney alone!
Also, I can't find any picture evidence of her lopsided breasts, but anyone who does, please share!

Om Nom Nom, Breast Milk Ice Cream

Ok, so I usually have posts about weird breast related things from Asian countries, occasionally from Germany.
But today I have one from London.

Breast milk ice cream.
A restaurant in London's Covent Garden is serving breast milk ice cream, made with pure breast milk, and is called Baby GaGa.

Here's a picture of woman supplying the restaurant with breast milk, London mother Victoria Hiley:

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 Now here's a  shot of her with the ice cream:
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Apparently, she milks on site, and the milk is then pasteurized, churned with vanilla pods and lemon zest.
I do have to approve of her approach to the situation, as she is quoted as saying, "What's the harm in using my assets for a bit of extra cash?"
If you want to read more about it, click here.

You have to admire her innovation.


Saturday, August 13, 2011

Why I Personally Don't Trust The Ah Bra or Genie Bra

I've been seeing the commercials for these bras all over the place.
And I have to tell you that I have my doubts about how effective something like this can be.
As someone who is rather large busted, I have found that bras with underwire are the kind of bras that will give you the best kind of lift.
But these bras have no back hooks.
No underwire.
No adjustable straps.
The Genie bra goes by band size exclusively, the Ah bra goes by small-medium-large, which I find largely unspecific in both cases. And what if you have a long torso, and your breasts are a little further down and the straps don't fit quite right, because they're too short? What if you're a large band small cup? The cups will wrinkle!

I guess I understand the idea. It looks like a basic Santoni weave around the band area, with a lighter Santoni weave for the cups, which I could understand for a sports bra. The place where the two different strengths of weaves meet could work similarly to an underwire for a short amount of time, but every day? All day?

I just feel that can't work. And if it does, I feel like it won't work for very long.
I guess I can't knock it till I try it, but I don't feel particularly driven to go buy something I feel won't work.
Also, every ad where you really see the bra, it's usually worn by a smaller girl, and that would obviously work for someone that size.

Any insight on this?
Any readers who own one of these "magic" bras?


1000 Ways To Die: Zapped Rack

Also known as Cardiac-A-Breast, this segment shows a young lady on her way to party, hoping to ensnare a man. Her trap?
A metal lined bra.
And I don't mean a bra with an underwire. I mean a bra that appears to have metal reinforcement throughout the whole thing, kind of like boning in a corset.
Now, metal bras aren't that uncommon. They're really more of a cosplay, or reneissance fair sort of garment though.

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Anyways, stop staring at her boobs, I'm trying to tell you a story.
So she gets to this party, and her bra is helping to make her the center of attention.
And then it starts to rain.
And she jumps at the opportunity to show herself off a little more, and starts to dance in the rain.

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 Well, I'm guessing Zeus didn't approve, because suddenly, from the sky, came a bolt of lightning.
Striking her in the bra.

As you might imagine, she was not in super great shape after that. The strike killed her instantly, and pretty much put an end to any date she may have had that night.

Moral of the story? If you're gonna dance in the rain, take your bra off first.

Booblogger out.

I'm Back! Again!

Ok, not gonna lie, I've been back for a little while. But I've had a lot of stuff to unpack, so get off my back. I got to go to Canada and hang out with my busty international friends, and pick up some super awesome boob shot glasses and a T-shirt printed with a bunch of naked chicks knockers.
Pictures later, when I find my camera cord.
I also got to wander around in New York for a while, and you know what they say about New York girls.
Actually, I don't know if they say anything about them, but if they did, it would involve their impressive breasts and generally rude attitude.
Just kidding they were all pretty chill.
Anyhow, I'm drafting another post right now, and I think you will all enjoy it, especially if you liked my post about Boobicide.
Much love!