IT'S BEEN A YEAR

One year ago today, at this very same time, I wrote my very first post for this blog.
I promised posts on cupcakes, dinosaurs, barracudas, and Chuck Norris.
Some of the more observant of my readers will note that nothing has been written on those topics.
I have however written some thrilling posts on the iLoo, Microsoft's biggest disaster, and one on the Nobel Peace Prize origin.
I've even had a guest post on why Boob is the Breast Word Out There.

I've done posts for Bacon Friday unreligiously, I've even had a couple 1,000 Ways to Die posts.

My point?
Is a nipple.

Just kidding.
My point is, I want to thank all of you for reading, and for all your support! You guys at the band in the big bra of my life.

Keep reading! It can only get better from here.

(oYo)
Booblogger

My 100th Post!

I’m too lazy to think of something awesome to write about for my 100^th post, so here’s a list of my top ten favorite posts for your reading pleasure:

1. Hitler, Now With More Breast Tissue

This one is probably my number one post, if anything just because I love history and breasts, and I can’t even imagine how awesome that would have been. Just saying.

2. 1000 Ways to Die: Boobicide, Death by Breasts

This is literally my most view post, and that’s because it is funny and sad, and has to do with breasts. What more could you ask for?

3. The Wine Rack, It Holds More Then Alcohol

I love this product, and I want it. Because who doesn’t want a sports bra that provides a push up. With ALCOHOL.

4. Reviews of the Miley… Well, You Know

Hahahahaha, I still laugh when I read these. Such quality product reviews. Makes me want to buy one for myself.

5. Boobs Crushing Cans?

I like this one if anything just for the video. The sound effects are truly fabulous.

6. If You Got ‘Em, Shake ‘Em

Those wacky Asians. Another truly, shakingly fabulous product.

  

7. And the Lies Continue, The Chinese Breast Clamper

The video on this is actually solid gold. The commercial sounds more like a promotion for children's snacks, and that makes it even better.

8. Disneyland: Now it’s REALLY the Happiest Place on Earth

I wrote this one after my trip to Disneyland, and now I wish I had thought to flash the camera. My dad would have been proud.

9. 1000 Ways to Die: Zapped Rack

I love all of my 1000 Ways to Die posts, and this one just makes me worried about the future. What if metal bras become a thing? We’re all doomed.

10. NSFW: Most Bras Taken Off and Put On In One Minute

Uhm, duh?

Read them. Love them. And read on!

Thanks for all the support guys!

(oYo)

Booblogger

1000 Ways To Die: Zapped Rack

Also known as Cardiac-A-Breast, this segment shows a young lady on her way to party, hoping to ensnare a man. Her trap?
A metal lined bra.
And I don't mean a bra with an underwire. I mean a bra that appears to have metal reinforcement throughout the whole thing, kind of like boning in a corset.
Now, metal bras aren't that uncommon. They're really more of a cosplay, or reneissance fair sort of garment though.


Picture from cn1.kaboodle.com

Anyways, stop staring at her boobs, I'm trying to tell you a story.
So she gets to this party, and her bra is helping to make her the center of attention.
And then it starts to rain.
And she jumps at the opportunity to show herself off a little more, and starts to dance in the rain.



Picture from utrashed.com

 Well, I'm guessing Zeus didn't approve, because suddenly, from the sky, came a bolt of lightning.
Striking her in the bra.

As you might imagine, she was not in super great shape after that. The strike killed her instantly, and pretty much put an end to any date she may have had that night.

Moral of the story? If you're gonna dance in the rain, take your bra off first.

Booblogger out.
(OYO)

1000 Ways To Die: Boobicide, Death by Breasts

I was watching "1000 Ways to Die", and there was a segment of an episode called "Boobicide".
Basically, there was this chick, who worked at a strip club (big surprise), and pulled in clients because of her large breasts, weighing in at ten pounds a breast.
These puppies were not natural, they had been enlarged though breast augmentation using the same polypropylene string we saw on Chelsea Charms.
Not only was she busty, she was also smart.
Like, super smart.
She liked to mix oxycodone and alcohol after stripping. And, because lugging around twenty pounds of boobs can make you back hurt really bad, she liked to hang out on her inversion rack.
Now, for those of you who don't know, and inversion rack is this super handy little device that you lay on, with your feet hooked onto a bar at one end, and hang upside down.

Picture from heartmonitor.com.



So basically, imagine the above woman, with giant jugs.

Giant jugs that are affected by gravity.

My interpretation of what this looked like when it happened.

Basically, because her boobs were so heavy, they swung right down onto her face, effectively blocking her airways, and because she was so mixed up on her... fancy dancy cocktail, she was unable to flip herself rightwards.

And she died.

She was smothered. By her own breasts.

HER OWN. BREASTS.

Guys, for those of you who know me, this is literally something that I used to be really afraid would happen to me.

Less because of alcohol and drugs and inversion racks, but more because I was afraid I would fall asleep, and my boobs would grow so fast in my sleep that they would smother me.

We should all be careful.

BE CAREFUL, OK?

Don't let that be you on "1000 Ways to Die".

(OYO)

Booblogger