Basically, there was this chick, who worked at a strip club (big surprise), and pulled in clients because of her large breasts, weighing in at ten pounds a breast.
These puppies were not natural, they had been enlarged though breast augmentation using the same polypropylene string we saw on Chelsea Charms.
Not only was she busty, she was also smart.
Like, super smart.
She liked to mix oxycodone and alcohol after stripping. And, because lugging around twenty pounds of boobs can make you back hurt really bad, she liked to hang out on her inversion rack.
Now, for those of you who don't know, and inversion rack is this super handy little device that you lay on, with your feet hooked onto a bar at one end, and hang upside down.
Picture from heartmonitor.com.
So basically, imagine the above woman, with giant jugs.
Giant jugs that are affected by gravity.
My interpretation of what this looked like when it happened.
Basically, because her boobs were so heavy, they swung right down onto her face, effectively blocking her airways, and because she was so mixed up on her... fancy dancy cocktail, she was unable to flip herself rightwards.
And she died.
She was smothered. By her own breasts.
HER OWN. BREASTS.
Guys, for those of you who know me, this is literally something that I used to be really afraid would happen to me.
Less because of alcohol and drugs and inversion racks, but more because I was afraid I would fall asleep, and my boobs would grow so fast in my sleep that they would smother me.
We should all be careful.
BE CAREFUL, OK?
Don't let that be you on "1000 Ways to Die".