Gotta catch 'em all?
You guys suck.)
So, I stick everything in my bra.
Like, in addition to my boobs. Like my phone, money, tickets, puppies, basically anything and everything.
But now, I can have a fancy bra pocket to put all my junk (HAHAHAHA, get it? Junk? No? Ok....) in.
One of them is called the RackTrap, which may now be my favorite thing in the whole world.
It gave me a nice mental image of bear traps disguised as bras, catching unsuspecting pedestrians.
Also, these are the instructions on how to use the RackTrap:
- "Locate your breasts . Are you a righty or a lefty? Decide what breast is most easily accessible.
- Place your essentials (cash, credit cards, drivers license etc.) in The Racktrap™.
- Insert The Racktrap™ in your bra between the cup and your breast (see #1) at the top of your cup.
- Make sure the opening of The Racktrap™ is lined up with the edge of your bra.
- Pull your shirt tight to make sure there are no lines.
- Use your free hands for good and not evil.
- Repeat again tomorrow."
Anyways, this puppy goes right on in your bra, successfully hiding your goodies (This is too easy) from muggers and ragamuffins and whatnot.
Which is nice and dandy until you come across a groper.
“Hey, your boob feels like a cell phone.”
“NO IT DOESN’T HOW DARE YOU.”
Just trying to keep you all abreast (HAHAHAH, ok, I swear I’m stopping.) of the newest advances.
I just want to keep you all safe, and close to my heart. (Ok, I’m done for real now.)