Bacon Friday: Bacon Toothpaste

I hate trying to eat breakfast after I brush my teeth.
Yet, it never occurs to me to just wait, and brush my teeth after.
But now, in an effort to avoid the nasty after taste of fake bubble gum and mint, bacon toothpaste has hit the market.

Best idea ever, or best idea ever?

I'd rather end my teethbrushing with the delcious smoky taste of bacon in my mouth then gross normal bubble gum or nasty mint.

I think the world would be a better place if we all brushed with bacon toothpaste. Just saying.

(OYO)

Booblogger out! 

Boobs Crushing Cans?

peopleofcollege.org

Ok, I can hold a lot of things with my boobs.
Like a small chihuahua puppy, a can of coke, a few books.
But could I crush a beer can with them?


In case you've ever wondered, Spike tv's show Manswers has a wonderful clip on it.
(Also, if you've ever wanted to watch a few chicks high five a beer can with their boobs, this is the way to see it.)


Spoiler, they need to be HHHUGE.
Another spoiler, there's a physicist, so it's like two things I love coming together.
Boobs+Physics= <3


Also, Spike is lame, and doesn't host this video on youtube.
But click here if you want to watch the magic happen.

Smoking, It's Gonna Give You Saggy Boobs

Your skin has a protein called "elastin", which in the breast area, helps to naturally support your breasts. It's also what gives your skin that youthful appearance.
According to a study by the University of Kentucky, smoking, the "tumor-causing, teeth-staining, smelly, puking habit", also happens to destroy the elastin in your skin, along with age, and number of pregnancies.
So ladies, if you're trying to blame your sagging mammary glands on your hungry baby, blame no more!
Tobacco is bad for you in the chest region in general, also, for your skin.
Everywhere.
Just so you know.

What can you do to get the bounce of a younger woman?

Eat healthy
Stay hydrated
Exercise
Limit sun exposure (NO more topless sunbathing! Just kidding, keep doing that, just wear sunscreen.)
Moisturize

And don't smoke!

Don't go from this:

photo from thestockmasters.com

To this:



Photo from tsblogs.com
















I'm just looking out for you guys!
(OYO)
Booblogger out!
(Thank you Corie, for the tip!)

Snuggies

I hate Snuggies.
No, I'm serious.
I hate them with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and I'd like to see what a thousand burning suns would do to a Snuggie.
To me, a Snuggie is something worn by someone who has never seen a trenchcoat, or is incredibly lazy, and really hates moving their blanket for four seconds.

The only real good I see in them, is sometimes they look long enough that if you try to walk with one, you'll trip and fall, and look like a giant ass in a blanket with sleeves, like the person in the video below.

Video looks totally staged, but is still somehow completely satisfying.

And the only other good thing?

The Snuggie Sutra.

This is exactly what it sounds like, and is truly a wonderful read.

"You have a Snuggie. You have sex. This was inevitable."

You can view a few of the positions online here.

Th Amish Curtain is a personal favorite.

Thank you Lex Friedman and Megan Morrison, for turning something I hate into a satirical sutra book.

It makes my life better.

What's your favorite? Any Snuggie lovers out there?

(OYO)

Booblogger out!



NSFW Easter Boobs

It's Easter!
Yay!
Easter makes me think of eggs, which makes me think of, well, you guessed it.
Boobs.
And guess what?
I'm not the only one!
The following pictures are NSFW, so be prepared before you hit the links!

Two bunnbies (Get it? Bunny boobies?) in a basket:
Here.

And this one, I have no real words for:

I honestly don't know what's happening with this one, because I can't find a backstory to it. But it's majorly creepy.
It has boobs though!

So happy Easter!
I love you all!

(OYO)
Booblogger loves her some bunnbies!

Words For Boobs

This is a super charming video, giving you some pretty creative words for your boobs, in case you find a situation where "breasts" just doesn't quite do the job.

"Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs

Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD's
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs

Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs

Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs

Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins

Those are 99 words for boobs"

 

Would anyone ever use these in real applications?

I mean, what?

 

(OYO)

Booblogger out.

World Map of Average Cup Size

Guess which country has the biggest average breasts?
GUESS.
DO IT.

And the answer?
Russia!

And just so everyone knows, my browser history for these last few posts must look pretty sketch. Miley sex doll, boob maps, russian boobs, etc.

If you want to see the big picture (And, no. I'm not implying large Russian breasts.) click here.
I'm trying to figure out if our average is high because of breast surgery, because it doesn't clarify whether they're natural sizes or not, or if we are just pretty cool.
I need to move to Russia, so I can be average. ;D

(OYO)
Booblogger!

Bacon Friday: Bacon Bra

This is something I have been considering for the blog, so I'm starting it!
If there is anything I love more then/as much as boobs, it's bacon.
There is just something amazingly wonderful about the deliciousness of perfectly cooked bacon.

So to try and intergrate Bacon Friday in, my first post will be about something you may have seen floating around the internet:
The Bacon Bra:

This would be an example of a halter, non wire, non molded food bra.

Don't really see that often!

So thoughts on the bacon bra?
Tasty? Or terrifying?

I want to cook it into a bra shape, and then eat it.
Oh baby.

(OYO)
Booblogger

Reviews Of The Miley... Well, You Know.

Ok, so remember this post, about the Miley Cyrus sex doll?


It has 7 reviews, with four five star ratings, and three one star ratings.
Here are those promised Amazon reviews:

1. The Last Schlong? Uhm. What?
"189 of 205 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Last Schlong, April 4, 2011

By 

Jason Carpenter (Sacramento, CA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Finally Mylie! Love Doll (Health and Beauty)

I recently purchased a Finally Mylie! Love Doll at my local sex store and I have to say I am extremely disappointed. I opened the box waiting for my own Mylie (or MYlie, as I always say, or just started to say right now) and all I got was a flat lady made of plastic!! Don't Buy!

EDIT: lol oh didn't know I had to inflate it! Thanks mom!

EDIT: Awww man. I got tired of blowing it up, so I hooked it up to one of those machines that my creepy uncle uses to inflate his matress in the basement and it got too inflated! Mylie looks like Kirstie Alley! (Note To Self: Patent Kirstie Alley sex blimp)

EDIT: I had to poke a fourth hole in Finally Mylie to let out some air. Oh well, now she's just like my ex. This isn't too bad, I mean if you like to have sex with a semi-inflated trash bag as you balance on one arm while you pray that it doesn't pop, and if it pops that no one hears it. The last thing I need is for my parents to find me lying naked on top of a flattened Miley Cyrus . . .again. "

2. VERY IMPRESS
"34 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars buy doll, VERY IMPRESS, April 6, 2011

By 

Xiu Xhong - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finally Mylie! Love Doll (Health and Beauty)

Miley Cyrus in China are very popular. In China, sex is too stubborn woman. Miley Cyrus is that it can be my lover. I recently, Miley Cyrus is a sex toy to buy. I feel happy to get the appropriate value of the first very open and has popped about 3 hours in. So I bought 10 or more. Very enjoyable weekend. "

3. I'm disappointed with your lack of capitalization.
"7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars don't waste your money on this, April 7, 2011

By 

Amazonian - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Finally Mylie! Love Doll (Health and Beauty)

they really do trick you with the box packaging with a smoking hot replica model of miley. that's not what you'll get. to think they charge this much for a piece of trash is really lame. i was actually looking forward to getting this, what a disappointment. it would be funny if it was like five or ten dollars, then it would be a good gag joke product to have around but it cost way more than that. do not buy. doesn't even include a pump. as soon as i got the box, i didn't even open it because it felt like nothing was even inside. i don't know what the product even looks like but i could tell it's a massive failure. don't bother wasting your time or money on this!"

4. Thank God for age laws!
"5.0 out of 5 stars Exceptional!, April 20, 2011

By 

plasticman - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finally Mylie! Love Doll (Health and Beauty)

I've been waiting years for Mylie to finally become legal, and thank god for this doll, I got my wish. I counted down the days, the minutes, the seconds, wow! Thank u Pipedream! "

5. CAPS LOCK MEANS I'M SERIOUS
"1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY ON THIS HUNK, April 12, 2011

By 

r833 - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Finally Mylie! Love Doll (Health and Beauty)

THIS NO WHERE RESEMBLES MILEY, THIS SIMPLY A BLOW UP DOLL WITH ORANGE HAIR AND 2 OPENINGS. WHAT A JOKE "

6. I kind of want to high five this guy."2 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars um.... WINNING, April 10, 2011

By 

J. Chmelicek "Tugboat" (Middle earth) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Finally Mylie! Love Doll (Health and Beauty)

I bought three, one to cook, one to clean and one for sensual massage. the food's not bad. and my whites have never been whiter. but mylie 3 has a little too much grip. she's okay with feet though. i just wish i could get one of these plastic chicks to drink something so i can slip her a ruffie. "

7. trust me imo.
"1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars waste of money, April 9, 2011

By 

marvin cantbe tamed lopez - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Finally Mylie! Love Doll (Health and Beauty)

Dont buy this, its a waste of your money. when i bought it i was expecting the doll to look like whats on the box. but its not . they just use a look a like to seel this product. no resemblence whatso ever. its just a regular sex doll . no resemblence to her wat so ever. waste of my 50 bucks. it would be better if it was 5 bucks as a gag gift. but imo this product is a 1 star . waste of ur money. trust me imo "


Seriously, these reviews make my day.
I could read the VERY IMPRESS one over and over, and not get tired of it.
Which one is your favorite?

(OYO)
Booblogger

All Grown Up... And Inflatable?

How I haven't blogged about this yet, I don't really know.
Miley Cyrus has her own love doll.
Not by her choice (or so she says!), and produced by Pipedream Products, which also produces a Snooki love doll and a Beyonce love doll.

The doll was completely sold out in the first 48 hours, and the star has threatened to sue, but it's still on the market. The company hasn't even received a cease and desist letter, which means, Miley may be milking (HAHAHA INNUENDO) this for all the publicity.

GASP. NO! AMERICA'S SWEETHEART? (Whose dolls description is "She's had years of practice speaking into the mic, and now she's ready for yours. just add air and this teen-queen pole-dancing princess comes of age right before your own eyes!")
The doll also features
 
Wow. I don't really have words for this. The only thing better then the product, are the Amazon reviews.

Most of you don't want to have this on your web history, so let me post some of my favorites in a later post, so that those of you who don't want to read them, don't have to.
Wow.
Just wow.

(OYO)
Booblogger is amazed.

"Three lonely love holes aching for a good ole' down-home dicking.

She's the perfect companion to fulfill all of your sexual fantasies.

Inflatable!"

Underwire Saves Life!

So who remember my post about the bullet proof bra from those wacky Germans?
Remember my promise for a mind blowing response?

Well here it is.
UNDERWIRE SAVES LIVES.
Or a life. In particular, the life of a 57 year old woman from Detroit. She was innocently observing three people break into her neighbors home, when one of them fired a shot at her.
That shot was deflected.
BY HER UNDERWIRE.
Wonderwoman would be proud.

Police Sgt Eren Stephens Bell is quoted to have said on the matter, "We need to get some bulletproof vests made from that. It is some strong wire."

Sorry, but did anyone else giggle at the image of a police man wearing an old lady bra? Cause I did.

She did sustain injury, but not nearly as much as she would have if the bullet hadn't been deflected.
I wonder what Carmen Kibatan has to say about that!

BRAS FOR SAFETY LADIES.
Keep your girls safe!

Booblogger out!
(OYO)

Now, I've Heard of Bullet Proof Vests, But This...

So apparently in August, 2008, the German Police force debuted their new bulletproof bra for policewomen.
They look like a standard sports bra, except for their bullet deterring properties, and the fact that the word "police" is printed all along the bottom band.
Which I think is pretttttttyyyyyy weird. You don't rush up to a criminal and throw your shirt up to identify yourself as a police officer. Or do you?

Why they can't just have bulletproof vests is beyond me, but what really gets me is that in the article, Carmen Kibatan who is an adviser on equal opportunities for the Hamburg-based Bundespolizei (Germany's federal police force) says "I always thought normal bras posed a safety risk and I wanted to change that."
My question is, what exactly has her bra ever done to her?

It's said in the article that the wire and plastic parts of the bra can pose a risk when hit with a bullet.
.
..
...
Guess what else poses a risk?

A BULLET.
Just saying.

But these are now an issued part of the police uniform female police officers receive, and they have their choice of styles (which are limited), and also, are optional.

Ruediger Carstens says, "This was pioneering work. The safety of our officers is paramount."
Well, hats (or bras) off to safety!

I have a response to this which I will post later, and it'll blow your mind. So stay tuned!

Booblogger out
(OYO)

If You Got 'Em, Shake 'Em

So, one of the ideas behind getting your boobs to grow is to stimulate the nerves.
And no, this doesn't mean you should set up a groping booth, and welcome in the weirdos.


But, those wacky Asians have ANOTHER great invention to solve your problem of small boobs!

Shake shake shake, shake your... boobies?
Because, I don't know about you, but I've always wanted a combination vibrator/bra.
Innovation!
The more I find of Chinese boob altering products, the more I love them.

我喜欢亚洲人!

(I love Asians!)

(OYO)

Booblogger out.

Bra Unhooking... The Contest?

Question, how fast could you unclasp the bras of 8 women?
Current record? 21 seconds.

How do I know this? I promise I'm not chasing women down and unclasping their bras with a timer in my other hand, but a few Asian men may be.

May 8th of last year, the Guangzhou mall in China hosted a contest to see how fast the bras of 8 masked women could be unclasped. The winner was a female, of course, as men seem to be completely confounded by the workings of bra.

Here is one particular Asian man trying his hand at it, and looking quite... Well, I have no words for that facial expression.

The winner left with a gift certificate for 1000 yuan, which is about $146 bucks. Not bad, because even if you lose, you win.

Also, hopefully the guys can learn a little bit more about the magical bra, and how to remove it.

Nutty Asians and there love of boobs. I mean, who remembers the chinese boob clamp? Maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with breasts, what with being a quarter Asian.

Would you compete? Thoughts?

Booblogger out!
(OYO)

Life Saving Emergency Bra

Have you ever been walking down the street, worried about radiation, and wished you had a mask that could keep you safe from dangerous chemicals? Have you ever wished your bra could support you, and keep you safe?

Apparently designer  Dr. Elena Bodnar has. As a young physician she witnessed some of the effects of  Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster in 1986, and came to produce the Emergency Bra.

And what exactly is an Emergency Bra you ask?

An Emergency Bra is a lovely contraption that works as a normal bra, and then breaks into two fully functional, face masks that can filter out dangerous chemicals.

Watch the video for a bunch of old guys breathing in some good old fashioned boob sweat.

To quote the good doctor,

"Ladies and gentlemen, isn't that wonderful that women have two breasts, not just one? We can save not only our own life, but also the life of a man of our choice next to us."

Admittedly, it looks kind of silly, but hey. Radiation sucks face.

The bra comes in limited colors, styles, and sizes, but is available for retail sale, for a pretty acceptable price.

Check it out here.

Also, men, don't feel left out! You can buy an Emergency Shirt!

Safety and protection from radiation for everyone!

(OYO)

Booblogger out

Breast Wrinkles... No More?

I'm guessing most of my younger readers don't have what we will call gentle, breast wrinkles.

Like, when you see an old lady who doesn't wear a really good bra, and she has all this wrinkly stuff going one?

Well, the solution has come!

Now, I don't know about you, but I have never, ever seen anything like this.
I guess the idea is it will basically smooth the skin between the breasts and give you that young, smooth, in between the boob look?
Here's an example of what I'm trying to say.

If you're interested, check here.

(OYO)
Booblogger out!