Monday, December 3, 2012

Bra Burning, It's All Been A Lie

A lot of people associate Feminism with the image of crazy, radical girls in the 60's setting their bras on fire to protest gender discrimination. 

Funny story.
That never actually happened.

Finally Feminism 101 had a post in response to a question about how the whole bra buring this is a a false memory harbored by a lot of people, and how it was never actually a thing that happened.

"The stereotype of the “bra-burning feminist” is one that remains today as a sort of feminist bogeyman to scare women (and men) away from the movement by pointing out how “ridiculous” and “radical” feminists are. The rub is, feminists never burned their bras as a political statement."(

Picture from
The false image is estimated to come from one of the very first protests. During a picketing of a Miss America beauty pageant, the group of women "crowned a live sheep, and dumped girdles, cosmetics, high-heeled shoes, and bras into a “freedom trash can”" ( A print article flippantly referenced "bra-burning" when discussing the event and the phrase stuck, identifying all feminists as bra-burning radicals.

Apparently the women wanted to burn the bras, along with other "instruments of female torture" but the police department wouldn't let them. However, Carol Hanisch who had a part in organizing the protest takes a more amused stance on the memory saying, 

"We had intended to burn it, but the police department, since we were on the boardwalk, wouldn't let us do the burning. I often say that if they had called us 'girdle burners,' every woman in America would have run to join us." (

It's funny to think that a revolution that has inspired so many women has a myth that is consistent perpetuated and has been for quite a long time. The writer of the post on Finally Feminism makes a good point though.

"It’s important to remember that, even though the particular claim is a myth, the act that it symbolized — a rejection of patriarchal beauty standards and the trappings that go with them — is absolutely a feminist cause and not trivial at all."

To think, only a few dozen years ago, women had to protest to be allowed to wear pants. PANTS. And we had "freedom trash cans". It was truly a different time.

Interestingly enough to me, most feminist arguments I've heard lately are more about the right to wear skirts, mostly in reference to rape cases where judges designate blame to the victim for how she was dressed. In the picture on the left you can see a sign from a protest that's garnered a lot of attention.

We live in a strange world, and I find it a little weird that we still have to protest stuff like this. That we would designate blame to a victim of rape because of their clothes is like telling a victim of a hit and run accident it's their fault because they were walking.

Thank god for the American legal system. Oh, and good old gender discrimination.


Implants, The Pros And Cons

So, you all know how I'm like, pretty much against breast enhancement right?
If you don't know that, feel free to refer to the post about how Shannon Osbourne and Danielle Lloyd implants exploded, for no reason. Or how that British lady just wanted to play paintball, and hers exploded. Or the lady on that weird survivor show who was mud wrestling and hers exploded.

Get it? Implants explode.
Guess what natural boobs don't do on a normal basis?

Now, I can see the argument for getting a breast augmentation, but I am still not terribly supportive of the procedure. Plus, less exploding, so that's a plus.

And a study ( done by Heat Magazine of 2,000 men, including Russell Brand, showed that 89% of men prefer natural to plastic. In case you're bad with numbers, this is a pie chart to show you.

Boob jobs

1. You have "perfect breasts"
2. Gravity no longer applies to you
3. You can go bra less because of #2 
4. It can make you feel better about yourself
5. There was that one time that implants saved a lady from dying when her husband stabbed her

1. Only 11% of men prefer fake to real
2. They could explode, making you lose a lot of blood
3. Expensive
4. You can wear a push up bra
5. You're going to be like the mother in Mean Girls. 

For those of you who haven't seen Mean Girls, there will be no summation of what that means. You're dead to me.
Also, it's on Netflix, so you have no excuse.

There are reasons to get implants. In fact, one of the very first breast augmentations(, done by Dr. Vincenz Czerny in 1895 was to help even out a patients breasts after a tumor was removed. When women have mastectomy's due to breast cancer, reconstructive breast surgery, another form of augmentation, is often times used to help them feel more normal after the removal, and a woman who had actually just undergone a reconstructive surgery is what got me into bras in the first place.

And you won't find me railing against mascara or makeup, and though you all know how I feel about push up bras, I'm not going to try and get those banned. If you do it because it will make you feel better about who you are, then more power to you. But do your research. Find safe techniques, find a doctor you trust, and remember the the pros and cons.
Phillip Schofield from the "This Morning" show with Chelsea Charms

What I'm trying to say is I get it.
Maybe I don't approve of it, but I get it.
And if you're looking for a less permanent augmentation, why not try Snooki's "two bra boob job"? I can promise that pretty much any two bras you find will be cheaper then getting your breasts done.
Or try the Bangkok breast slapping technique. Remember, you need a professional for this one.
But try to keep it natural.
Once you get into Chelsea Charms territory, it's probably time to stop.


Friday, June 29, 2012

The Variable Cleavage Bra, Just Pull the String

Oh hey, what's up?
It's been a long ass time since I last updated, but I ain't even sorry.
A girl has to keep busy sometimes, I REGRET NOTHING.

Anyways, on to the updates in boobs news.
Remember the weird ass Chinese Boob Clamper?

Well, Wonderbra decided to make something quite similar in 2000 and is doing a limited rerelease, but it's just a bra with a drawstring basically. (Also, has anyone ever wondered if Wonderbra is short for "Wonder-where-your-boobs-went-when-you-took-off-your-bra"?)
It's called the variable cleavage bra, and it lets you control how much cleavage you want to have at any given time with a little pull on the string.
Picture from
That bitch looks kind of crazy scary.

This isn't exactly a new concept, and Lily Of France has a bra very similar to this, but it has stupid little hooks in the front, and basically changing the setting on it makes your fingers feel like they're bleeding, it's probably the most awesome thing ever.

Except it's not. This seems much cleaner and easier to use, and probably hurts your fingers less. That's just a guess though.

Thoughts? Buy or not?
I just kind of manipulate mine until they look the way I want them to, so I don't know if I would buy a bra specifically for this.

Until next time!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Tomorrow is Easter!

So last year I made a post about Easter boobs.

Now, as some of you may know, that post got my AdSense account shut down due to nudity, which is super dumb in my opinion.

So my one request from all of you for Easter is click on that link and make me feel better about not removing that post, and for posting it in the first place.

But, happy Resurrection of Jesus for all you religious folks.
And happy weird holiday about a bunny that lays eggs for the rest of you!


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Another Boobs Exploding Story

Hey, anyone else noticing a trend?
Like how implants explode and try to kill people?
I mean, there was the one story about the lady saved from getting stabbed by her husband by her implants, but that's apparently not common. It's much easier to find stories about the implants exploding or trying to murder people.

So if you're considering a boob job, you should read all these posts first, and consider the risks.

Picture from

Anyways, British model Danielle Lloyd had a mishap with her implants recently. Specifically, they swelled up to the size of her head and then exploded.

She lost a liter of blood, so like, over a quart of blood from this. They discovered blood clots during the removal surgery, potentially saving her life.


"I looked like I had giant implants," she said. "I felt as though my breast exploded and this time it happened a lot faster than before.

"My left breast went down to literally nothing. It was just an empty sack while the right one was huge."

Yeah, how you feel about implants now?
Really good?

Anyways, she stated that her marriage was going to happen, "With or without boobs."

Have to admire her persistence.


Mud Wrestling, it's Gonna Make Your Boobs Explode

Remember my post about how that lady got shot with a paintball gun and her implant exploded?
And how Sharon Osbourne's just exploded for now reason?

Well now we can add mud wrestling to the list of things that causes awkward implant explosion.

Apparently there's this Swedish tv show called "Djungelns Drottning" ('Queen of the Jungle')and it's like... Survivor with only hot chicks in the jungle where one of the competitions is mud wrestling.
I need to find this channel.

Anyhow Blogger Lina Hellqvist, 24, is one of ten "beautiful big city girls" competing on the show, and she was part of the wild mud wrestling scene. It apparently got out of control, and ended up causing her implant in her right breast to dislodge.

"It was totally insane. It just burst," she told the Expressen newspaper.

"The other girls were also worried and wondered what was wrong. It was really unpleasant."


If I was on that show, I would have been like, "Nope! I'm done, the end. Screw the jungle and mud wrestling. I like my boobs not exploded, thank, bye."

She's currently waiting to undergo reconstructive surgery. 

Ugh, that just creeps me out. You're wrestling some chick in some mud in the jungle, and her boobs just deflates and she starts screaming. What exactly are you supposed to do in that situation?

I'll tell you what I'd do, run like hell.


Creams to Make Your Boobs Bigger, Do They Work?

I don't know if you guys have heard of this, but on the market there are some creams that claim they can cause your bust to grow.
I'm super skeptical, because there's very few things that can actually make your boobs grow, and I doubt creams are really the best option.

Anyways, a study conducted by the boob job experts at Cosmetic Surgery Guru was.... inconclusive.

Duh, weirdos.

Anyways, the expensive cream basically just smelled nice and made the participants boobs really soft, which is nice, but didn't noticeably increase bust size.

The second one also smelled nice, but apparently did cause some change.
Mostly just local swelling though, which I think is negligible. It's called period swelling ladies, it happens.

Anyways, creams?
No thank you, I don't need my boobs any bigger. However if you are looking to increase your cup size, I would personally recommend the slap technique. Or if you don't want to get slapped by an old Asian disco lady, just let someone grope you. If you stimulate the nerves often enough, they will swell, and maybe even grow a little bit.

So hats off to all the ladies letting random people grope them.
If you can't find anyone, feel free to give me a call. ;D


I'm Sorry, Your Nickname is Hilarious

So I like to do research on boobs every once in a while, but I really only find interesting things by really digging around.

And today while searching through a mass of very classily named adult sites, I found out that there's been two sports players with the apparently well known nickname of "Boob".

Boob Darling: "Bernard "Boob" Darling (born November 18, 1903) was an American football player. He played his entire five year career with the Green Bay Packers and was inducted into the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame in 1970."

Boob Fowler: "Joseph Chester "Boob" Fowler (November 11, 1900 – October 8, 1988) was a Major League Baseball shortstop. He played for the Cincinnati Reds (1923–1925) and Boston Red Sox (1926)."

Now I'm not super big into sports, but I know what locker room talk is like, and I bet that's a joke that never got old.

"Hey guys, I was in the shower and I saw Boob."
"No way, there's a dame in there?"
"Naw, just Boob Darling."

Now I'm just imagining guys in towels laughing really hard and slapping their knees.

Haha, those were the days.
I wonder how you get a nickname like that in sports.
Anyone know the back story?


Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Story of How My Boobs Caused a Traffic Jam

I recently went on a trip to California to see my boyfriend.
Generally, I like to wear less clothes for that drive because the sun is like, blazing hot, and my car has the worst air conditioning known to civilization.
So I'm doing my thing, driving in the car getting scorched in my low cut top and shorts, basically learning what a cooked lobster feels like.

And we get to those stupid lanes where you have to pull up and they look at you and judge you, and then let you go. Or not. Depends on who you are.

Here, I drew a diagram.
Shut up, drawing is hard.
Ok, so I'm in the lane that goes straight forward, the other lane splits into two. The car to my right was a big ass truck with a trailer.

Anyways, I realize I need my sunglasses, which are in my purse in the passenger seat. So I lean across, and get them. And as I look up, this guy is just gaping at me like he's never seen cleavage before. Both lanes in front of him are clear now mind you, and the guys in the booths are like, dude, what the hell.

So I give him this look:

I almost did this one:

But I was pretty tired.

Anyways, cars behind him started honking and shouting things that would make a sailor blush, and he turned scarlet and moved forward.

And I laughed, oh how I laughed.
And then I was sad cause I still had a long ass way to drive.

But that's the story of how my boobs stopped traffic.


It's March Madness!

And I don't care.

Because to be perfectly honest with you, I don't really know what that means, and no one has explained it to me.

Something to do with brackets? I think I used those in my construction class one time. They were cool, but everyone else seems to think they're like... super awesome.
I wasn't impressed.

Anyways, some of you may have noticed, (or probably didn't because you don't care) I haven't updated in a long time. I don't know if you remember this, but I'm like, crazy busy. I have two jobs you know. And go to school. And have a social life. And I like to sleep. That doesn't leave much time for blogging. I'm working on that, I promise.

I was brought to the realization that I should blog more when I found myself home yesterday, with no school and no work. After posting approximately 50+ pictures and videos of cats on my very good friends facebook page, I realized I needed help.

Or something else to occupy my time. Then I remembered this existed.

And that's the story of why I'm updating.

Also, here's a picture of a cat.

Haha, soup cat.


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Woman Saved From Deathly Car Crash by, You Guessed it, Boobs.

I'm on a roll her people!
I think this might be the theme for January, "Woman who've had their lives saved in one way or another by bras or boobs."
Anyhow, on to the story.

Lisa Somerville had always been flat chested.

And at 28, she had taken to wearing "chicken fillets" in her bra to boost her confidence. (Not actual pieces of chicken, it's little things you put in your bra to make them look bigger. Duh.)
But she never guessed they might save her life in May, 2009.
Picture from
Pictured above with her current breast enhancement is Lisa herself.

She was driving in the rain in Glasgow, when her car collided head on with another car. The accident was so bad, Lisa had to be cut from the vehicle and taken to the hospital, where she was treated for a punctured lung, four broken ribs and a broken nose.

But due to the fact that she was "doubling up", wearing two of the fillets in each cup, the impact was cushioned enough to prevent her ribs from puncturing her heart.

If you click here, and scroll down, you can see what they looked like after the crash. Not good, spoiler alert.

Now, I don't like fillets, I think they're creepy, and what the inside of fake boobs look like, but if they save lives, I guess they aren't that bad. I tried a pair on one time, and I almost died laughing.

Good times.
Anyhow, look for more posts about something boob related saving lives!

It's a theme now!


Another Woman Saved From Certain Death by Bras.

Remember the lady who was saved from getting stabbed by her husband and probably dying because of her implants? I mean, she still got stabbed, but she's alive, and that's pretty awesome.
If she had boob insurance, that whole thing probably would have gone over a lot better.

And the lady who got shot and probably would have died, but then didn't because her bra was like, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS. (BULLET.)"

Well, yet another lady has been saved from the danger that's all around us by her bra.

In August 2008, a 26 year old barmaid, Vicky Parsons, was on break in her car with the window down when two hooligans with bandanas tried to rob her. One of these douchebags had a knife, and Vicky received a cut on her hand fending them away.

While she was struggling, the kid tried to stab her, and while the blade did puncture her skin, the majority of the damage was received by the underwire of her bra catching the serrated knife's blade.

The kids ran off, and Vicky flagged down a car, and the kids (14 YEARS OLD) were caught, red handed. Knife handed?
I don't know. They caught them.

Freakin' kids, running around the UK with knives, threatening barmaids. 

Anyhow, she's totally fine, she was really excited her £6 Asda bra, which is like a cheap supermarket bra (only like 9 bucks American money) saved her freaking life. I'd be excited too.



Ahh Bra, Launching in the UK

We all know how I feel about the Genie Bra, or the Ahh bra.

And if you don't, here's a picture to sum it up.
Picture from
Soooo yeah.
Anyhow, it had a pretty good debut in the UK, but why the UK needs them, I don't know.
They make some fabulous lingerie there.
They don't need this nonsense.


Reviews give it an average of three stars across the board.

The Miley Cyrus sex doll has the same amount of stars, and we all know how good that is.
The reviews are equally hilarious though.

1.0 out of 5 stars SAGGY & Sweaty/Hot, September 14, 2011
This review is from: Ahh Bra (Apparel)
Wow - these must be designed for smaller busted women. Might as well carry 2 melons around in a pair of support-hose. THAT is how much support the Ahh bra offered me. Maybe support-hose would offer more support than the Ahh Bra did. Also it's hot, no moisture wicking, I sweat in it. Wanted to love it, or even like it, wanted it to live up to it's claims. Bought my mother one & she also mentioned they made her sweat. Unable to recommend this as a product that lives up to it's claims for anyone that's bigger busted. 

Why, that is how I carry my melons, thanks!

Even the five star review said it was only comfortable, but not very supportive.

I like this one though:
1.0 out of 5 stars terrible..., January 2, 2012
This review is from: Ahh Bra (Apparel)
might as well wear a rubber band. awful thing to wrestle into and try to wear. ahhh no! it's more of a torture device than a bra. i was hoping this would replace an underwire but it just squashes and mushes your boobs into your body.

I'm gonna pass on the rubber band idea.

Only one person can pull that off.
Picture from
 So good luck with that, everyone in the UK.
I look forward to your amusingly worded reviews of how awful this bra is.


Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Awh, what cute names for something ABSOLUTELY AWFUL.

What it boils down to is the government wants to censor the internet.
You know who does that? China.
And I love China, but that's just not right.

And it also means that there's a good chance that if it passes, my blog?


So click here.
Do your part, no matter how little.
Imagine how awful life would be without my blog, or wikipedia, or youtube.


From, because that guy rocks.


Haha, Silly Girls. I Will End You.

Today was rough. We decided to completely change the layout of the lingerie area, and everything was like, "I don't want to go there, so I'm gonna break and throw bras all over the floor" and everyone was like, "Oh snap, bras on the floor, what should we do about that?"



But yeah, anyways. Everyone and everything was like, being insane.

So I looked over, and this girl was seriously a B cup at most.
And she was wearing a push up bra.
Don't try to lie to me, I know my stuff.

So that gave me a good laugh in the midst of all the craziness.


Legos Have Boobs Now, How Does That Make You Feel?

Recently, LEGO has started a new set called the "Friend" set, which is composed of five female LEGO figures which have, you guessed it, boobs.

Picture from
It's hard to tell from the picture, but they aren't terribly busty, they have smaller boobs than Bratz dolls. They do have settings like salons, and doggie daycares though.

On that note, I don't have any friends who frequent doggie daycares.

Mostly, people are upset because LEGOs used to be less gender indicative, more about imagination than gender roles.

But LEGO isn't like, forcing you to buy gender indicative LEGOs.
You don't like, it don't buy it for your kid! But if they want it, I don't see anything wrong with that.

LEGOs have boobs now.
End of story.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

A Short Story About How My Christmas Was More Awesome Than Yours

Here's to hoping everyone had a great holiday season and New Year!

So, I have this friend, and she's basically awesome.
She's gorgeous and Asian, and just basically cooler than some (most/all) of your friends.
(No offense, it's just how it is.)

Anyways, she likes my blog, and knows how much I like boobs, so she basically gave me the awesomest asssortment of presents ever.

Hello kitty meets drinking meets boobs.
(New Year's theme anyone?)

I got:
A snazzy Hello Kitty key cover
Two, count 'em, two Hello Titty shot glasses
A box of gummy boobies, which were basically pretty yummy
A booby fishing lure
A drinking dice game
A drinking card game 

And here's a picture, in case you have a hard time imagining such awesomeness.

I love her, it's like she can read my mind.

That's all I have right now lovelies, but keep an eye out for more later.
And try not to beat yourselves up because my friends are more awesome than yours.
It happens!

That's right, I can hold shot glasses with my boobs.