Haha, Silly Girls. I Will End You.

Today was rough. We decided to completely change the layout of the lingerie area, and everything was like, "I don't want to go there, so I'm gonna break and throw bras all over the floor" and everyone was like, "Oh snap, bras on the floor, what should we do about that?"

Answer?

PICK THEM UP. DON'T JUST LOOK AT THEM CONFUSEDLY.

THAT HELPS NO ONE.

But yeah, anyways. Everyone and everything was like, being insane.

So when a bunch of prostitots showed up, (YES, I SAID PROSTITOTS. LIKE BABY PROSTITUTES, LIKE BROOKE SHIELDS IN "PRETTY BABY") and they were all like, "OH MY GOD, DID YOU KNOW MY BOOBS ARE LIKE, A 36 D? OH MY GOD, ISN'T THAT AWESOME, THEY'RE SO BIG." I was like, NO SHUT UP.

So I looked over, and this girl was seriously a B cup at most.

And she was wearing a push up bra.

Don't try to lie to me, I know my stuff.

So that gave me a good laugh in the midst of all the craziness.

(oYo)
Booblogger

That Natural, Nipply Look

You know what's cool?
Nipples.
Lots of things have them. Men, women, baby bottles, lots of animals. They're handy little buggers attached to your body.
But most of us aren't like, "hey, check out my super cool nips. Sometimes when it's cold, I use them to slice through cheese. It's a cool party trick."
But for those of you who are into that sort of thing, maybe I can interest you in the "Nipple Bra".
That's right.
A bra with nipples on it.

Picture from Poorlydressed.failblog.org

Cause yours just aren't good enough.
Now, when I buy bras, I tend to lean towards the kind that conceal all that mumbo jumbo, but if you want that perky, nipply look, here's a good alternative.
Which is hopefully just missing decimal points in the price, because no fake nipples should cost that much.

Mine were free.

(OYO)
Booblogger.



Bra Fitting and Buying, Made Easy

Getting fitted can suck. But only because people let it suck.
So here, my lovelies, is a quick guide to making the process painless.
If you want to skip the actual getting fitted, read this, and continue following the steps.

1. Know what kind of bra you want, or at least what needs you have to fulfill.

This step is important, because if you don't have an idea, the specialist won't know what to reccommend. Well, they will, but they won't know what kind you personally would like.

2. Wear a bra you've always liked, but not a sports bra.

This will give the specialist a more specific picture of what you like to wear, and what kind bra you've been wearing. And even if you like sports bras, don't wear one to a fitting. A sports bra will compress your breast tissue, and make measuring difficult.

3. Be prepared for the cold hard truth.

Getting measured is painless, but not neccessarily fun. And what the specialist may tell you, may not be what you want to hear. And you're gonna have to put on your big girl panties, and get over it. You've had your boobs your whole life, but these people are professesionals.

4. Listen to suggesions.

Like I said before, these people know things. Things about breasts. So try to listen to what they say. Listen to what they're telling you about needs as far as size and style go.

5. Try things on.

When they give you suggestions, try them out. They say underwire, you try on some underwire. They say molded cup, you try on molded cup. Make sure you have lots of time so you can try them on.

6. Leave happy.

Don't make this suck anymore then it has to, and try not to make the process painful. Once you're properly sized and advised, buying, and wearing, bras will become a much better experience.

(A few places you can get fitted in the US:
JC Penney
Nordstrom
Victoria Secret
Lane Bryant)

Love you all!
Now go forth, and be fitted!
(OYO)
Booblogger

Push Up Bras, The Greatest Lie Ever Told By Your Average Woman

Recently, Victoria's Secret and many other bra makers have started making something even more extreme then a push up bra, to replace tissues and socks and silicone inserts.
Traditionally, a push up bra adds a cup size, making you seem bigger, but these new bras can add two, or even three, cup sizes.
My real question is, why?
Just.... why?
Isn't the point of showing off your boobs (edit: occasionally) to get someone in bed? And isn't part of getting someone in bed through that process... getting nekkid?
And letting them see your real boobs? Which will have magically shrunk?
The only good thing I can see in these new push up bras are you can literally let someone punch you in the boob, and you will be totally fine. Also, you could just run into an attacker, breasts first, and knock them out. One time at work, I dropped one on my head, and it gave me a headache.
Maybe it's just because I have large breasts, but I can't see why we would need to mislead perfectly nice strangers into thinking we have bigger boobs then we do. You can trick someone with one cup, but two or three?
Come on.
HAVE BOOBS.
YOUR BOOBS.
NOT BOOBS WITH FABRIC AND JUNK.

(Edit, due to below comment. This post is due to my frustration with women who purchase these kinds of bras for the wrong reasons. Women who choose to wear these bras to ensnare men, and then express confusion with the mans reaction and confusion, with me while they purchase more of these kinds of bras, make me feel rather frustrated. The boobs you have are wonderful, and I just wish everyone could see that. Thank you, anon, I forgot to make that clear to my readers. =) )

(OYO)
Booblogger rant over.