This is maybe the best story ever, especially since I just went through paying my taxes and all that and it turns out waitressing makes your taxes suck ass.
But I like to know my tax dollars are at work.
I try to use this excuse when I speed.
"No, officer, you don't understand. I saw you. But I also pay your salary. I was just making sure you were paying attention, so it's not going to waste. So I'll just go now."
Not as effective as you might think.
Unless you thought it would never work, in which case you're right.
Anyhow, no more ranting about speeding tickets, on to the main event.
SOME GIRL IN BRITAIN GOT TAXPAYERS TO PAY FOR HER BOOB JOB.
Josie Cunningham is a 22 year old telemarketer who has two kids, and wants to be a model.
Recently, she got two steps closer to her goal.
And by two steps, I mean two breast implants.
See what I did there?
|Picture from gawker.com|
"I just got emotional when I was explaining to my GP that I felt I couldn't live a full life the way I was and he agreed to refer me for implant surgery. I could never go on holiday as I lived in terror of ever being seen in a bikini and could never set foot outside without a padded bra. The doctors said they'd never seen anything like it and believed me when I burst into tears and told them it was ruining my life."
Apparently Cunningham was the first patient that had ever been seen with zero percent breast tissue.
I have no idea how that happens.
"He said he'd have to give me 36DD implants costing £4,795 [$7260] just to achieve the appearance of a 36C - because there was literally nothing there in the first place."
Also, that makes no sense. If there's nothing there, why would the size be different once they were in?
|Before and after (Picture from gawker.com)|
"I've even started to collect Louis Vuitton handbags and have ordered a chihuahua puppy. The sky's the limit now I've got my new boobs."
Sooooo... Let me clarify.
You can't afford a boob job. But you can collect Louis Vuitton handbags, which are like, thousands of dollars ( I KNOW, BECAUSE I LOOKED) and a chihuahua puppy? Which, if you're buying Louis Vuitton, my guess is you're gonna get that purebred shit, which can be like a $1,000 easily (Looked that up too), not including food and the little Louis Vuitton poop bags.
Matthew Sinclair, Chief Executive of the TaxPayers' Alliance has said, "The NHS is there for people with serious medical needs, not as a means of helping wannabes who fancy a career in modelling. NHS bosses must not allow the system to be manipulated by people wanting cosmetic surgery merely to enhance their career prospects."
You can watch a video of her talking about all this here.
Haha, so awesome.
I think I'd almost rather have my tax dollars pay for boob jobs.
Except I kind of don't like them.
I wonder if Obama-care covers this kind of thing.