The Factors Of The Perfect Breasts

Patrick Mallucci is a plastic surgeon, who has spent three months analyzing breasts to try and discover the key features that make them "perfect". (I want his job. Right now.)

From his three month study, he discover four key features:

"First, the part of the boob lying below the nipple was ten per cent fuller than that above it.

Next, the nipples themselves were angled upwards at 20 degrees.

 

Finally the skin sloped flatly or inward above the nipple, and curved outwards below it." 

^That bit? Copied and pasted. I think the last one is supposed to be two features in one line, but I can't be sure.

"The nipple meridian — a horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple — lay at a point such that the proportion of the breast above it was 45 per cent and below 55 per cent. The more breasts deviate from these measures the less attractive they are regardless of size." 

Well, that seems a little shallow, sir.

His finding have been published in the International Journal of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgery, and I wonder if it's the same journal that published the story about the guy who broke his finger unhooking a bra. Well, trying to anyways.

I don't know if there's any formula for perfect breasts, and I have to say, I can't read that doctory mumbo jumbo up there, but I'm pretty sure they don't fit those requirements.

And I think they're perfect anyways!

Is there a formula for "perfect" breasts? Thoughts?

If you want to look at one of the girls with perfect breasts, click here. They have a copyright on the photo, and that shit is legal.

(oYo)

Booblogger

Directions

Recently, I had the pleasure of visiting my doctors office.
I was there for a routine health check, which as you might know, involves peeing.
In a little tiny plastic cup.
So they send me on my merry way to the bathroom, and right across from the toilet is a basket of plastic cups, safely and sanitarily sealed in their little plastic bags, nestling on fake grass.
I never understood the attraction to fake grass. Like, it isn't a natural habitat for plastic cups. They don't frolic about like puppies on it, enjoying the sunshine.
And I know I'm inside. You don't have to try and convince me I'm actually experiencing the outdoors. I just have to pee in this cup.
Next to the basket are some sharpies, so I can mark my cup, and above that are some convenient directions.
Because apparently when you pee in a cup, you have to follow the directions or you screw everything up.
These directions told me everything from how to open my cup bag without contamination, to postioning it, to opening the sharpie, to putting it in a little metal box.
But what it didn't tell me was when to take my pants off.
They had directions for guys too, but also no step involving actually removing, or even unzipping, your pants.
And while it's fairly obvious to me that you can't pee in a cup if you're wearing pants, it still freaked me out.
Was I supposed to do that before I opened the cup? Had I contaminated the sample by touching my zipper?

WHY COULDN'T IT JUST TELL ME TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF AS A STEP?!
 I mean, it assumes I don't know that I have to take the lid off the sharpie to write, so that hardly makes sense.

Henceforth, we flounder without direction.
Or, I do at least.
Anyone else have some interesting experiences with directions?

Booblogger out.
(OYO)