I hate trying to eat breakfast after I brush my teeth. Yet, it never occurs to me to just wait, and brush my teeth after. But now, in an effort to avoid the nasty after taste of fake bubble gum and mint, bacon toothpaste has hit the market.
Best idea ever, or best idea ever?
I'd rather end my teethbrushing with the delcious smoky taste of bacon in my mouth then gross normal bubble gum or nasty mint.
I think the world would be a better place if we all brushed with bacon toothpaste. Just saying.
Ok, I can hold a lot of things with my boobs. Like a small chihuahua puppy, a can of coke, a few books. But could I crush a beer can with them?
In case you've ever wondered, Spike tv's show Manswers has a wonderful clip on it. (Also, if you've ever wanted to watch a few chicks high five a beer can with their boobs, this is the way to see it.)
Spoiler, they need to be HHHUGE. Another spoiler, there's a physicist, so it's like two things I love coming together. Boobs+Physics= <3
Also, Spike is lame, and doesn't host this video on youtube. But click here if you want to watch the magic happen.
Your skin has a protein called "elastin", which in the breast area, helps to naturally support your breasts. It's also what gives your skin that youthful appearance. According to a study by the University of Kentucky, smoking, the "tumor-causing, teeth-staining, smelly, puking habit", also happens to destroy the elastin in your skin, along with age, and number of pregnancies. So ladies, if you're trying to blame your sagging mammary glands on your hungry baby, blame no more! Tobacco is bad for you in the chest region in general, also, for your skin. Everywhere. Just so you know.
What can you do to get the bounce of a younger woman?
Eat healthy Stay hydrated Exercise Limit sun exposure (NO more topless sunbathing! Just kidding, keep doing that, just wear sunscreen.) Moisturize
And don't smoke!
Don't go from this:
photo from thestockmasters.com
To this:
Photo from tsblogs.com
I'm just looking out for you guys! (OYO) Booblogger out! (Thank you Corie, for the tip!)
I hate Snuggies.
No, I'm serious.
I hate them with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and I'd like to see what a thousand burning suns would do to a Snuggie.
To me, a Snuggie is something worn by someone who has never seen a trenchcoat, or is incredibly lazy, and really hates moving their blanket for four seconds.
The only real good I see in them, is sometimes they look long enough that if you try to walk with one, you'll trip and fall, and look like a giant ass in a blanket with sleeves, like the person in the video below.
Video looks totally staged, but is still somehow completely satisfying.
And the only other good thing?
The Snuggie Sutra.
This is exactly what it sounds like, and is truly a wonderful read.
"You have a Snuggie. You have sex. This was inevitable."
It's Easter! Yay! Easter makes me think of eggs, which makes me think of, well, you guessed it. Boobs. And guess what? I'm not the only one! The following pictures are NSFW, so be prepared before you hit the links!
Two bunnbies (Get it? Bunny boobies?) in a basket: Here.
And this one, I have no real words for:
I honestly don't know what's happening with this one, because I can't find a backstory to it. But it's majorly creepy. It has boobs though!
This is a super charming video, giving you some pretty creative words for your boobs, in case you find a situation where "breasts" just doesn't quite do the job.
"Jugs and orbs and darts and gourds
Elmer Fudds and bouncing Buddhas
Sweater stretchers, lung protectors
Beach umbrellas, frost detectors
Scooby Snacks and snake-eyes dice
Jell-o molds and high-beam lights
Every day I probably use
99 words for boobs
Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys
Double lattes, Ode to Joys
Hooters, shooters, physics tutors
Bobbsey Twins and bald commuters
Double-WMD's
MRE's and PFD's
Snow-white dwarfs, Picasso cubes
99 words for boobs
Gerber servers, holy grails
Whoopee cushions, humpback whales
Flying saucers, traffic stoppers
Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers
Pillows, billows, Don DeLillos
Soft-serve cones and armadillos
Pimped-out hubcaps, inner tubes
99 words for boobs
Midget earmuffs, warming globes
Strobes and probes and frontal lobes
Knockers, honkers, knicker bonkers
Smurfs and Screaming Yellow Zonkers
Tannin' cannons, Mister Bigs
Big bad wolves and Porky Pigs
Jogging partners, saline noobs
99 words for boobs
Two-point jumpers, Bambi's Thumpers
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Rutabagas, Chi Omegas
Schwag the showgirls show in Vegas
Congo bongos, bowling pins
Fast-pitch softballs, siamese twins
Guess which country has the biggest average breasts? GUESS. DO IT.
And the answer? Russia!
And just so everyone knows, my browser history for these last few posts must look pretty sketch. Miley sex doll, boob maps, russian boobs, etc.
If you want to see the big picture (And, no. I'm not implying large Russian breasts.) click here. I'm trying to figure out if our average is high because of breast surgery, because it doesn't clarify whether they're natural sizes or not, or if we are just pretty cool. I need to move to Russia, so I can be average. ;D
